Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Completions

On Tuesday night, we began a 3-week series in Life Skills called "Completions" in preparation for the New Year. The object is this: go into the New Year with a clean, clear slate. What a novel idea! It was tossed to us, if we were willing, to make a commitment to completions. I would venture to guess there was about 40-50 people in the room and the energy was enormous! So many people focusing on completing anything that may be left hanging open! It's exciting.

That night, I made a commitment, which I want to out here to the world:

I commit to becoming masterful at completions and to clearing anything that may be blocking my way from doing so in easeful, fun and loving ways.

The most interesting thing has happened since then... things are showing up to complete that I had no idea were even out there - things that were sparked in several other people in that room, who also committed to getting complete, which involved me. No idea!!! I feel excited that I am in commitment to complete. I am really excited that I have created a safe space wherein others can approach me in arenas that could be potentially scary for them to get complete with me. I am grateful that I have come that far in my progression that I am trusting myself to complete and, therefore, I am attracting in others who are wanting to get complete too and feel safe doing that with me now.

I love it when I can see the very visible effects of playing with the Universe in the creation of my life. I love that my request of the Universe at the beginning of the year, "I'm tired of creating relationships that reflect back only the 'bad' about me. I commit to creating relationships that reflect the 'good' about me," is showing up in full color! I love that I am a safe space for myself and others.

DAMN! I FEEL HAPPY AND JOYFUL AND FULL!

This is fuckin' awesome stuff, man!!!

Blessed be.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Ritualistic

Each morning, I would meander to work somewhere near to on time and sit at my desk, boot up my computer and immediately go to blogger to do my morning post. I viewed it as a perfect way to start my day. That was my ritual, until 12 days ago.

Now, I get to work exactly on time and stress if I don't pull it off. I pull right up to my desk and whisk around, trying to get ahead of the trainee that will be plowing through the front door within a half hour of my arrival. I tap my fingers as the computer takes her time to boot up, while I listen to voicemails and sort yesterday's mail.

As soon as she walks in, we are off and running on this task or that. We are organizing and training and laughing and sweating and shuffling and moving and moving and moving! From one side of the office to the other and back again. Things change from moment to moment and sometimes I find myself wondering why, at 3:30pm, I am starving. Oh! I never ate lunch!

In the middle of all this, the time for blogging has evaporated. The time for any of the personal stuff I did while at work has fallen to the wayside. I am actually working my ass off, although there are two of us now. How did this happen?

But, all in all, I am so damn excited! I have a teeny-tiny desk in the back office now to call all my own. That will be the new home of my own business. That will be where I redo my website to make it look more like who I am now and reflect the direction of my career. That little space will be where I write my Meditations and blogs. I feel really excited and happy about what is ahead.

It feels really good to be creating new rituals.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Choosy

I discovered last night in my Life Skills class that (I am well aware that what I am about to write sounds absurdly cliche) I am more into the journey rather than the destination. We were talking about choice and that every moment is an opportunity to choose again. We did a few experential exercises around accomplishing goals and how choosing different "ways" of accomplishing these goals changes the process.

The first way was to take a HUGE leap toward the goal, hoping to land in the goal itself. I heard all sorts of mind chatter: I am never gonna make it. It's too far. I'm too little. I am going to crash and burn. I'm never going to get there. There's no way. Too far. Too big. Unsustainable.

I know myself well enough now to know that HUGE steps never work for me. I try HUGE shifts and I get freaked out midway and fall flat on my face, usually. I also know that HUGE shifts, for me, are too easy to cop out on and go back to my old ways. I knew this before even trying, but I tried anyway, just to see.

I leapt with all my might, noticing that I held my breath in the process. I landed in a wobbly one-footed stance and obviously short of my goal mark. Placing my other foot on the ground and finding my balance, I shuffled to the end with a faux cutesy smile on my face, frantically looking around to see who had witnessed my failure. So like my life... if I am just cute enough and nice enough and move gently enough then no one will notice I fell short and everyone will love me and think I am amazing. Ugh. So tired of that pattern.

The second process was to reach the goal through baby steps. I discovered this one felt congruent with where I am in my life. I felt happy and light and as though every step was sustainable. I never wobbled. I never looked around to see what other people may be thinking of me. I danced and I laughed and I felt good! When I arrived at the goal mark, where my partner was standing, we embraced one another with giddy laughter and I heard myself think, "I made it! It was SO easy!"

And then, there in the embrace of one of my best friends, I realized that most of all it was the connection I made with her at the end that was interesting to me. It wasn't the completion of the goal. It wasn't even, really, the journey although that was incredibly easy and fun. It was that spark of connection and love and friendship that did it for me.

Then, like a bolt of lightning, I was hit with this: if I choose to focus on the connection factor in my life rather than the actual goals, then everything will be easeful and fun.

I feel SO excited by this!

DAMN! Life IS good! Waaaaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Trains

I am training my replacement... that young lady who was the "Kate Hudson look-alike" seems to be a perfect fit. She started last Friday and I am giving her all the knowledge I have so that one day she will be able to fly free on her own... as will I.

Presently, my life is going as fast as a bullet train. I feel like I am finally on the correct track - the track that is going to move me forward, toward my dreams. I feel excited and scared and happy all at the same time, which is a euphoric combo plate of emotions. It seems that I am riding in comfort and the scenery is just whizzing past me, full speed ahead, in a blur of inconsequential, undefined colors and swirls. There is no need for me to focus on what is beside me, outside those windows, because what lies ahead is what I am focused on. I am enjoying the peripheral swirling, whirling, brilliant blur of vibrancy and I am aware that all that matters to me is the "here and now" and what lies in front of me.

I am training myself to be who I am meant to be. I am breathing and listening and being curious. I feel excited that I am actually using the skills that I have been training in for several years now. I feel happy that I am seeing the results I have been promised I would see, if only I did what I knew to do. My catch, in the past, has been that I wouldn't do that which I knew. I was happy with the thinking and the being and the creative brainstorming side of things - but the doing? That part was the difficult part for me. Call it lazy. Call it procrastinating. I don't know what it was. I mostly call it fear.

As this train of mine speeds along the track and I continually upgrade my ticket, moving forward through the train, I am realizing that things that used to bother me no longer do. I am realizing that almost everything is not personal - things that people do or say "to me" are things that I can choose to internalize or I can choose to not. In rhythm with the clickety-clackety of the wheels on the track, I am breathing and choosing. Every moment is a choice.

I am speeding along and realizing that not everyone will agree with me. And that is okay. Not everyone will think like I do. And that is okay. Not everyone will see the picture as I see it. And that is okay. Not everyone is even going to like me. And, guess what! That is okay.

I finally like me; I even love me - such a vast improvement! I finally get that my train is my train and the ride can be lovely or uncomfortable. I am finally choosing to have a lovely, good time on this ride. I am finally loving where I am and who is with me. I am finally able to understand that there are those that will never be beside me - or will continually butt heads with me. In that moment, I can breathe and smile and realize that I am still okay.

I love my train!

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Whirlwind

I have discovered
When I really commit
I mean, really commit,
Life becomes a most exciting
Whirling
Swirling
Escapade of colors and lights
Life becomes a wonder
And full of joy
I find my essence
I live there
And each movement is a celebration
Rejoice!
And live!


This week's Meditation The Essence of Life is available for your viewing pleasure.

I feel SO happy to be alive! And I feel grateful to be able to say that right now.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Good Day!

My life is getting so exciting and I feel soooooooooooooo happy! I am wishing right now that I had all the time in the world to share with you what is happening. I am so busy and focusing on what I must do right now, so that I stay in integrity with all aspects of my life, including my job. There will be time, soon, I am sure to share more goodies and snippets.

Until then, I am smiling and loving my life!!!

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Note to Self...


ummmmm.... ye-eah.... Angie, when you are feeling immense fear like you were feeling yesterday, it is an indication that you are getting ready for a life-changing shift. Embrace. Express it. And then smile about it! Life is beautiful.


More on that later...


I am off to be in my essence right now and just wanted to check in with myself to remind me that my life truly is an amazing gift to myself and the world!


I LOVE MYSELF!


(good lord! How did that happen?????)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

WOW!!! and the Meditation of the Week

I have a MySpace page, in case you didn't know. I have had a lot of bizarre e-encounters with "friends" who have requested my friendship through MySpace. A while back, I went through and released a lot of my friends, bringing it down to a more manageable and believeable number for myself. I have become very selective on who I now accept into my friendship circle. (In the hopes of minimizing the bizarreness) I no longer accept friendships from random bands who are seeking to increase their "fan base." I no longer accept friendship from anyone I do not know or do not have friends that I recognize from my own base.

So... today, I log into MySpace and I have two friendship requests. As par for my course now, I opened the profiles of these maybe-future-friends. The first one seems to be some sort of environmentally friendly dude that is into all things natural. Sorta along my line of thinking and although I didn't see anyone I knew there, I liked his space. It felt nice. One new friend. Wahoo!

The second one, I was curious about. A beautiful black, young woman posing against a fence. I felt leery, at first, because I have seen way too many MySpace spaces that rope me into something innocent-looking that is so NOT innocent underneath the surface. Timidly, I opened her space and stopped breathing when it popped up immediately. There was nothing awful or scary or pornographic. No. That wasn't why I had stopped breathing. I stopped breathing because this is what I saw...

I stopped breathing because there, at the top of her page, were my very own words, my very own quote, from MY website, which you can get to through a link on my MySpace home page. I stopped breathing because this was the first time in my life that MY words had touched someone in a way that they used them as a "famous quote." You cannot see it here, but her whole page is covered with famous quotes from famous people. And MY quote is HER quote right now. OMG! It feels so surreal.

(Now... the cynical side of me is noting that this could very well be some sort of hack/scam/phishing scheme and I am going to regret accepting her friendship.)

Patooey on the cynical side of me, right now! Right now, in this moment, I am going to revel in this beautiful discovery and believe that it is for real. I am going to believe that she was touched by that quote and that is why it is there on her page.

I feel happy!

Oh... and... this week's Meditation Prisoners of War has been available for quite some time. If you would like to read it, CLICK HERE.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Sunshine...


...on my shoulders, makes me happy-y-y-y-y-y


John Denver... he was an amazing folk singer. I miss him, even though I didn't know him. It is sad to think that he will never perform again. And, gee! I didn't intend to go this direction...


Truly, though, I am so happy to see this amazing bright, white sunshine in the spotless sky. I felt happy - and blinded - driving into the sunrise this morning and grateful for all that I have been blessed with.


I heard myself thinking, as I drove, I am so grateful for this home I live in. It has exactly what I need. It is exactly what I can afford. I love that it has two bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs because now I can move my healing space and business office into my home. There is room down there too for Reiki parties. I am so amazed at how blessed I am. This is EXACTLY what I was looking for!


I was curious about this because, as you know, I am living in a petite guest room. All of a sudden, though, there was this assurance that my own place is real. It's just waiting for me. Or rather, it's more like it is getting ready for me. It is there. And I can feel it. I can see it. I experience it.


I feel excited about that and feel myself wanting to rush ahead... to make it happen right now. That has always been my challenge, to allow everything to happen in divine timing. Being a visionary, I am able to see things for myself and want them right then. In the past, and lacking patience, I have struggled with what will be and have strangled the divinity out of it through the battle to make it MINE! NOW!


So... in this moment, I choose to breathe. Consciously breathe. In real deep and out long and slow. Right now, that is all I know because it keeps me present and helps me remain in trust. I trust that the Universe is enrolled in my life and is supporting me. I trust that God is providing for me. I trust that my intuitive nudges are leading me to where I am meant to be, to who I am meant to be.


YAY! I feel HAPPY!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

It's Official!

Today...
I am loving who I am.
I am loving what I do.
I am loving what I have.
I appreciate that each new day is an opportunity to make new choices. Even moment to moment, I have the opportunity to make a new choice.
Today, I choose gratitude.
I feel happy.

Yay!

And so, it begins. Today is my first NEW (and paying!) client in a long, long time. I feel excited and happy about that and look forward to the abundance that is dancing my way.

That is all...

:)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

WOW!

I feel JOY! I feel excited that I am opening to a life wherein I work with other forward-thinking geniuses that love to be in their authentic selves! I have had the most amazing morning and I want to share it quickly. (I know. Quickly is not like me! Wooohoo! Radically different!)

~I received an anonymous comment on my personal blog from someone who read my controversial Marching Morons post. It was so loving and receptive. I feel happy.

~While reading that comment, an email popped up from one of my newest business partners! She was abundantly offering her gifts to me as thanks for the gifts of me I had offered to her. I wept with joy and fullness and gratitude as I read the email.

~While reading that email, another email popped in my box from one of my ALC buddies. She wanted me to know she had been thinking about me. She called me "bright, courageous, and amazing" and I felt shy for a moment. Then, I read it again and felt happy and expansive.

~AND while reading that email, another email popped in my box from a friend of a friend. My friend forwarded one of my Meditations to her and she felt so moved by what she read that she promptly asked to be signed up. Then, six months later, she followed a link from my Meditation to my website, read about what I do and has become a regular client. This email was to tell me she has a friend who is a new client coming my way!!!

I feel SO JOYFUL AND EXCITED AND EXPANSIVE.

(*whispering* and a little scared that I am going to upper limit...)

Okay... that wasn't as short as I was thinking it would be. But it could have been much, much longer, folks!!! LOL

UPDATE!

So... I went to the bank and left my cell phone here at the office. During that fifteen minutes, my new client called to book an appointment! WOW! And... strangely... I am scared to call her back. What if the Universe actually delivers what I asked for, instead of the counter-commitments I am used to showing up?! AAAaaaaaaaaaa

Friday, March 07, 2008

A Rose...

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine shared within a group we both attend his bouquet of the most stunning red roses I have ever seen in my life. He had received them from his boyfriend as a token of his boyfriend's love and admiration. My friend encouraged each of us to take a rose home with us, to share in their love.

So I have been closely watching the rose I chose. It has been over 1 1/2 weeks since I brought mine home, lovingly trimmed the end and placed it in fresh water. It is still standing tall and looking almost as perfect as the night I brought it home.

Three days ago, I noticed a new growth on the stem. This morning, that growth is over 1/2 inch long and has two baby leaves shooting out of it.

I feel happy and excited when I look at my rose. I am in awe that the will to live AND grow is so strong within my rose.

How am I like that rose?

I have a strong will to live. Time and again, I have been given the very explicit choice of life or death. Each time, I choose life. I have a strong desire to grow and become all of the potential within me.

And then, I thought about what the rose was doing... It was shared IN LOVE. And now, that love is expanding, growing, shooting off new lives of its own. I am sharing myself IN LOVE. I am expanding. I am creating new avenues and am growing into new, exciting directions. I am scared AND I am moving forward anyway.

I feel happy to see how the love is growing before my very eyes.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Hot!

It's a damn gorgeous day outside with bright sunshine and clear blue skies. No visible polution. No clouds. Just beautiful, glorious, spring-like sunshine.


I feel happy.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

What About Bob?

I am Baby Steppin' through my life.
I am Baby Steppin' through this house purchase.
I am Baby Steppin' toward my dreams.
I feel really scared and happy and excited.
So awesome!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Sunshine

Today I feel happy. Inside and out. I feel like the sun that is shining from the sky is actually inside me... beaming out for all to see.

And that is all.

I feel happy!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Feet up

Today is a day where I would like to lean back, kick up my feet, eat chocolates and, perhaps, watch a marathon of weepy-girl movies or feel-good Christmas flicks. Today is a day where I could be doing that because there is nothing to do here at work, yet I am here... making a show of it and watching the fog roll by my window.

Today is a day where I am thinking about all I am blessed with...

I am blessed with a job that allows me to sit here and watch the fog roll by, although I would rather be cuddled under a blanket at home with some hot chocolate and a DVD.

I am blessed with a beautiful daughter who grows more beautiful every day from the inside out, who is healthy and witty and a bright light in each person's path she crosses.

I am blessed with a close immediate family that is healthy and generally happy and with whom I love spending time.

I am blessed with improving health and a body that keeps on ticking no matter how I abuse or neglect it.

I am blessed with a safe, sheltered place to lay my head, food to eat and clothing to keep me warm.

I am blessed with a few good friends - some of which have been with me for decades, some of which are brand new additions to my life.

I am blessed with the ability to heal myself and others, to see through the eyes of God and to find the divine within us all.

I am blessed with the Gift of Words...

Which reminds me... several times within the last two weeks I have come across written feedback from others - some even strangers - as well as receiving the feedback live and in person. All of the feedback says... when will you be published?!!! You need to be out there! NOW!

I am so blessed. So very, very blessed.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Smeller

I am grateful to say that my smeller is back online. It seems like forever since I was able to take a huge inhalation through my nose and actually catch any scents. I am happy to report that a man walked passed me at lunch today looking all crisp and clean, as though he had just left his shower, and smelling of high-end cologne. I love the smell of man. And... yay! I can actually smell it!!!

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