"Today is a beautiful day. I go forward with an open heart into the expanse of universal abundance and welcome the flow of love and joy."
That was my Facebook status quote as I left my house for the day earlier this morning. I had no idea, really, what was in store then and could have never orchestrated the magic that was to follow.
It started when my mentor with whom I was doing professional trade today texted and said she NEEDED a latte and would be a few minutes late to her house where our appointment would be. "Good! I'll slow down then," I replied, laughing. I showed up at her house about 10 minutes later to find her car in the driveway. I knocked on her door. Long pause while I listened to the bees and the birds busily working away on this beautifully clear and hot day. The door opened and... before me stood a stranger whom I felt I should know but didn't recognize. Her face mirrored my feeling of disorientation. I had no idea Megan had gotten a new roommate. I've been out of the loop for a long time.
Julie invited me in. We sat down in the living room and began to get acquainted. As she talked, revealing her story to me as I asked leading questions, I realized why Megan was so late. I needed to get to know Julie. WOW!
Then Megan returned home and we chatted for another half hour, the three of us. When our "session" time officially started, it was noon - an hour passed our planned starting time. We went out onto the porch to start my session while sitting in the porch swing, gently rocking, laughing and processing. Behind us, a Robin Redbreast noisily thrashed through the ivy with a juicy fat worm dangling from her mouth. We watched her feed an equally fat bird of another breed, feeling surprised that the meal was not for her babies and Megan said, "Maybe they're mates."
All around us, the world was alive with life and creative energy. The fruit trees were heavy-laden with an eventual harvest. The flowering bushes were vibrant and the grass was lush. I shared with her that I feel so ready to step into who I am, while at the same time feeling scared to do so. The scared part of me is running the show and, especially, running my money. As I spoke, one of the lines that I said was, "The money must stop." I was floored by the indications as we explored what would happen if I owned that I felt that way... what would happen if the money did stop... what would my experience be?
My life has been a series of lessons to gain, I believe, an understanding of love and a complete compassion for humanity. Most of my lessons have been painful to an unbelievable degree. I've learned by living it and I realized in that moment as I sat there swaying with her that I'm ready to live compassionately for all of humanity - even the homeless - without actually fully experiencing that life.
I've been homeless and destitute in many ways. I'm actually, technically, homeless and destitute now - no place of my own, no belongings and no income. And in that awareness came the dawning knowledge that this state of destitute homelessness is the greatest disguise to hide behind. It is a cloak of invisibility. Homeless people are very difficult to locate because they have no address. I'm trying to hide. Enough.
I also uncovered my belief of struggle for all things financial. That I'm running my generational belief pattern that life must be hard and money must be scarce. I also revealed that I strongly feel my entire generation has worked itself into a financial hole from which it is going to be so difficult to recover and something has really got to change. I'm ready.
As we walked through the unwinding, unprogramming and reprogramming process, I felt my engines revving and my energy building. I had heat waves and energy coursing through me as I grew and expanded. The last thing I said in the process was, "I accept and love that I am now ready and willing to break the rules in outrageous and new ways," which set into motion the final unwinding of my belief that I had to be good and follow all the rules all the time and that, if I'm going to "be bad" and "break the rules" (read: follow my curiosity) then I needed to do it behind closed doors, in the dark and where no one could see me.
I released my belief that succeeding and having financial abundance was "bad". I released my beliefs that I had to hide to "be bad" and I released myself from carrying any further the load of my generational beliefs of struggle. I released myself from poverty. I released myself from homelessness. I released myself from invisibility. And I claimed my power.
And then... the HUGEST bumblebee came out of nowhere and flew straight toward me, its energy and intention hitting me squarely in the heart chakra like an arrow. It hovered for a few moments 12 inches in front of me. Just long enough for me to be absolutely certain that it was there then it buzzed off and disappeared.
Bumblees are not meant to fly. Science cannot explain why they do. Their wings are too small for the size of their body. The body is too big and not aerodynamic enough to fly. And, yet, they fly.
None of that escaped me in that moment.
From there I travelled to a friend's house for dinner and a movie. Several people whom I love dearly were also there and the room abounded with love and appreciation. We watched Invictus and in that movie, I heard a quote from Nelson Mandela that sprung me the rest of the way open into full transformation: "If I cannot change when circumstances demand it, how can I expect it of others?"
Love and joy, gratitude and abundance, flow and peace surrounded me today in such massive amounts, there was no way I could ignore it. And I created this!
The drive home brought another awareness and shift in my openness when I looked at a picture I'd recieved of my daughter and her stepmom. It was a joyful, loving picture and the last remaining vestiges of struggle with what WAS released and I soared on wings of freedom from bondage. As I got ready to turn in for the night, I spoke with my mom while feeling so full of love and gratitude. I was overflowing... I had no hope for stopping the tears. Such love! Such joy! Such fullness!
And then, there in the middle of all that joy and love and fullness, the heavens roared and flashed, the skies opened up, the rain fell and a double rainbow danced across the sky - at first crossed at the lower part, something I've never seen before. There, at the end of my magical day was that beautiful reminder that He will never forsake me.
Life IS good!
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Reflecting Back to Me
I'm so grateful for the loved ones in my life. I'm so grateful for my friends and family members who so gloriously reflect back to me that which I'm unable to see in myself... both good and bad. I feel blessed by the presence of so many amazing people in my life and, as I see myself through their eyes and get to know myself more by loving them, I'm learning what an amazing person I am myself. It's such a beautiful gift!
Over the last nine months, I've had the opportunity to go within myself in a way I never have before. Everything I've held dear has crumbled around me - several friends ended their relationship with me all within a 3-week period; friends have died; other friends are in the final throes of dying. I've given up everything I once thought was important. I'm without a stable job and income. I'm without a place of my own to live. I'm without almost every worldly possession I once called my own. I'm experiencing the least amount of money I've ever had since I was 15 years old. I've taken a leave of absence on my relationships with my family members. Even my daughter is spreading her wings and taking flight. This has resulted in me going within to dredge up the final sludge - the dirtiest, stickiest and most foul-smelling grime - that has been holding me captive so that I could free myself from my own bonds.
Last night I attended the "Farewell to Life Skills with Megan" class and experienced immense healing and closure of a very pivotal chapter in my life. Many people there last night have willfully and publicly chosen out of my life and terminated close relationships I had cherished. I've been hurt and I've felt sadness so deep that I knew I was pulling up from the depths of me that which had never been released. Walking into that space was one of the most terrifying things I've done. I chose to just sit with what was, feel my feelings and STAY. In the end, I was grateful that I had gone within, to find MY home and that, because I had, I was safe. I was saved. And I walked away knowing I had completed that which I had come there to complete. I had found ME.
This morning, I called a dear friend, Auretha, to get clear on a couple things we had been discussing via email. Through my relationship with her, I've come to understand huge things about myself and have uncovered many of my flaws as I've stumbled, time and again, ungracefully in her presence. Bumping up against her, going head to head and, at times, turning completely away from her has shown me the grace within me that I had been refusing to claim.
As she and I talked and laughed, I shared with her some of the healing aspects I had experienced last night. I shared about the transformation I witnessed within myself and, at the end of my sharing she said, "Angie, as I listen to your voice you feel... found. To me, you feel found."
I laughed and said, "Yes, Auretha! I do feel found!" I started to share with her about the closure aspect of the evening's events and found myself getting really distracted. All around me there were cop cars, stopped and blocking roads. I continued to try to carry on conversation with her, growing evermore distracted by the flashing lights and uniforms. Streets to the side of me were closed. Streets up ahead were closed. Cops everywhere. And still I kept trying to talk to her.
Suddenly, around the corner came an entire brigade of motorcycle cops with their lights flashing.
"Is there a famous person's funeral or something going on?" I distractedly asked her, as I gave her a blow-by-blow of what I was witnessing. She was quiet on her end. I rambled on about the lights and the uniforms and, still kept trying to complete the thought I had been in the middle of expressing.
Two dozen officers rounded the corner as I came parallel with them. Then I saw them. There were runners. Lots of runners. And cyclists.
"Is there a marathon today, Reth?" She had no time to answer because I blurted, "Oh! There's a torch! They're running an Olympic torch. Are we having the Olympics somewhere this summer??? Oh! How cool! A torch!!!"
On her end, she was quiet, but I could feel her smiling.
"I'm so sorry, Reth," I said, coming back to myself and realizing I had totally lost track of where I was. Judging myself for being rude, I apologized again. "I certainly got distracted there. So sorry!"
I could hear the smile in her voice when she asked, "Do you remember what we were talking about?"
I felt my Good Student pop up and I scrambled frantically for the answer, afraid to disappoint my friend. "Oh, yes! You had just finished saying that I felt found and I was wrapping up my experience of feeling found."
"Yes. You were sharing that you are found. You are complete, my friend. And look at what God sent you!"
I got chivels as she continued, "You are ready and God sent you a brigade of beautifully uniformed officers, flashing lights and an Olympic torch to show you you are ready for the games to begin. This year is going to be so big for you, Angie!"
Tears ran down my cheeks and I realized, once again, how very blessed I am that I have so many eyes through which I can see myself. Thank you, Reth, for being my eyes in that moment. And thank you, God, for sending me such a clear message.
Over the last nine months, I've had the opportunity to go within myself in a way I never have before. Everything I've held dear has crumbled around me - several friends ended their relationship with me all within a 3-week period; friends have died; other friends are in the final throes of dying. I've given up everything I once thought was important. I'm without a stable job and income. I'm without a place of my own to live. I'm without almost every worldly possession I once called my own. I'm experiencing the least amount of money I've ever had since I was 15 years old. I've taken a leave of absence on my relationships with my family members. Even my daughter is spreading her wings and taking flight. This has resulted in me going within to dredge up the final sludge - the dirtiest, stickiest and most foul-smelling grime - that has been holding me captive so that I could free myself from my own bonds.
Last night I attended the "Farewell to Life Skills with Megan" class and experienced immense healing and closure of a very pivotal chapter in my life. Many people there last night have willfully and publicly chosen out of my life and terminated close relationships I had cherished. I've been hurt and I've felt sadness so deep that I knew I was pulling up from the depths of me that which had never been released. Walking into that space was one of the most terrifying things I've done. I chose to just sit with what was, feel my feelings and STAY. In the end, I was grateful that I had gone within, to find MY home and that, because I had, I was safe. I was saved. And I walked away knowing I had completed that which I had come there to complete. I had found ME.
This morning, I called a dear friend, Auretha, to get clear on a couple things we had been discussing via email. Through my relationship with her, I've come to understand huge things about myself and have uncovered many of my flaws as I've stumbled, time and again, ungracefully in her presence. Bumping up against her, going head to head and, at times, turning completely away from her has shown me the grace within me that I had been refusing to claim.
As she and I talked and laughed, I shared with her some of the healing aspects I had experienced last night. I shared about the transformation I witnessed within myself and, at the end of my sharing she said, "Angie, as I listen to your voice you feel... found. To me, you feel found."
I laughed and said, "Yes, Auretha! I do feel found!" I started to share with her about the closure aspect of the evening's events and found myself getting really distracted. All around me there were cop cars, stopped and blocking roads. I continued to try to carry on conversation with her, growing evermore distracted by the flashing lights and uniforms. Streets to the side of me were closed. Streets up ahead were closed. Cops everywhere. And still I kept trying to talk to her.
Suddenly, around the corner came an entire brigade of motorcycle cops with their lights flashing.
"Is there a famous person's funeral or something going on?" I distractedly asked her, as I gave her a blow-by-blow of what I was witnessing. She was quiet on her end. I rambled on about the lights and the uniforms and, still kept trying to complete the thought I had been in the middle of expressing.
Two dozen officers rounded the corner as I came parallel with them. Then I saw them. There were runners. Lots of runners. And cyclists.
"Is there a marathon today, Reth?" She had no time to answer because I blurted, "Oh! There's a torch! They're running an Olympic torch. Are we having the Olympics somewhere this summer??? Oh! How cool! A torch!!!"
On her end, she was quiet, but I could feel her smiling.
"I'm so sorry, Reth," I said, coming back to myself and realizing I had totally lost track of where I was. Judging myself for being rude, I apologized again. "I certainly got distracted there. So sorry!"
I could hear the smile in her voice when she asked, "Do you remember what we were talking about?"
I felt my Good Student pop up and I scrambled frantically for the answer, afraid to disappoint my friend. "Oh, yes! You had just finished saying that I felt found and I was wrapping up my experience of feeling found."
"Yes. You were sharing that you are found. You are complete, my friend. And look at what God sent you!"
I got chivels as she continued, "You are ready and God sent you a brigade of beautifully uniformed officers, flashing lights and an Olympic torch to show you you are ready for the games to begin. This year is going to be so big for you, Angie!"
Tears ran down my cheeks and I realized, once again, how very blessed I am that I have so many eyes through which I can see myself. Thank you, Reth, for being my eyes in that moment. And thank you, God, for sending me such a clear message.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Appreciation for 04/19/10
(post number 1000! WOW!)
*Yesterday was a magical day! Had brunch with my dear friend, Lyndsey. Our sweet friend, Jane, from Myotherapy College, magically ended up in the same place as us so she joined us. *Got to meet Lyndsey's new beau and was surprised to discover I knew him from my life, pre-Myo! What a wild paradigm shift when I finally put it all together and realized that this loving, gentle Yoga teacher in front of me is also a doctor belonging to the group for whom I used to work six years ago!!! WOW! *Registered for school with no problem just after midnight so that I got the classes I needed. Quick, easy process. WHEW! Glad one more step is through. *Interestingly enough, I've got 16 credit hours scheduled. Four of the five classes are via internet. Cool. The remaining class is a FIVE-HOUR lecture class once a week for 8 weeks. FIVE HOURS!!! What the... who thought that up???! *Excited about two of the classes because they will fit in so nicely with the work I'm already doing and further my education in that field. Woohooooo! *What a gorgeous day outside! *Loving that excitement is breeding excitement. I'm finding beauty and joy where I'd never thought I'd find them before. ~ Man! Life IS good!
Grace in Small Things
*Yesterday was a magical day! Had brunch with my dear friend, Lyndsey. Our sweet friend, Jane, from Myotherapy College, magically ended up in the same place as us so she joined us. *Got to meet Lyndsey's new beau and was surprised to discover I knew him from my life, pre-Myo! What a wild paradigm shift when I finally put it all together and realized that this loving, gentle Yoga teacher in front of me is also a doctor belonging to the group for whom I used to work six years ago!!! WOW! *Registered for school with no problem just after midnight so that I got the classes I needed. Quick, easy process. WHEW! Glad one more step is through. *Interestingly enough, I've got 16 credit hours scheduled. Four of the five classes are via internet. Cool. The remaining class is a FIVE-HOUR lecture class once a week for 8 weeks. FIVE HOURS!!! What the... who thought that up???! *Excited about two of the classes because they will fit in so nicely with the work I'm already doing and further my education in that field. Woohooooo! *What a gorgeous day outside! *Loving that excitement is breeding excitement. I'm finding beauty and joy where I'd never thought I'd find them before. ~ Man! Life IS good!
Grace in Small Things
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Heartbreak
I woke on the edge of a dream a couple hours ago with tears pooling on my pillow. The sting of sadness and heartbreak lingers, images of the night-scenes flash at me with stunning regularity. I am small and turned inward to protect a heart that feels vulnerable and raw...
It was an important event, a show of grand proportions that had just arrived in our city to bring its message of love and life. A few hundred of us had been asked to witness the final dress rehearsal and give feedback. I was excited to be counted amongst that number and arrived alone, having no idea who else would be there.
I had been asked to make a presentation during intermission. Prior to the show, my presentation had failed to finalize, my computer crashed and I had to start from scratch. In the process, I forgot to get ready until the very last moment. I arrived at the auditorium fully unprepared on every level, scared and sad. My soaking wet hair was in a towel turban and I paid no heed to the people, dressed at least in Sunday best, if not full formal, who looked at me as though I had no right to be there dressed in my casual clothes, no make-up and wet hair.
I found an empty seat on the right side of the auditorium and opened up my laptop upon the cushion. Crouching down on the floor, I furiously went to work to complete the work that, apparently, was not meant to be finished. The more frantically I worked, the more behind I got and the more frazzled I felt. The presentation wasn't working, there was no way the slideshow would be ready. I had to throw in the white flag. Surrender.
Feeling dejected, I closed up my computer and rose from the floor. I was near the front of the auditorium and they flashed the house lights so I quickly passed between the orchestra pit and the first row of patrons and ran up the left aisle to find my designated seat. It was on the end of a row of empty seats. As I approached it, feeling sad that there was no one I knew there, I spied my once-best friend a couple rows in front of me. She stared straight ahead, not acknowledging my existance.
I felt the tears burn, but bravely swallowed them. I didn't want to let them see me cry. I didn't want to let anyone see me cry. I slid slowly into my seat, towel-turban skeewompas on my head. I slouched down far so the view of the people behind me would not be interrupted by my headgear. I realized that I had left my cord over somewhere and had to find it. Retracing my steps, I retrieved it and then returned to my seat only to discover it was now occupied, as well as the seat next to it.
In my seat was the boy I met at 10, fell in love with in high school and loved for at least two more decades - far longer than he loved me.
In the seat next to him was my once-best friend. While she hadn't been a part of my life for anywhere near the length of time he had, she had been present for some of the biggest, most important shifts in my life.
The commonality: I had loved them both and trusted myself enough in their presence to open fully to them, show them my good, bad, ugly and beautiful. Both of them had been to the very center of my heart where I am most tender, most vulnerable, most innocent. Both of them chose out of relationship with me because they wanted to move on. Both of them left with stating how they felt and what they wanted and what their experience of our relationship had been without giving me the chance to use my voice. Both of them left me with my heart wide open and bleeding love.
Suddenly all the chairs in that section were full except the one opposite of her. I carefully edged my way through the row and slid into my seat. Both of them sat stone cold, no awareness of who I was or even that there was a person in front of them. They were aware of one another and made it apparent that they were happy to see one another, but neither of them acknowledged me. Feeling so out of place, I slouched further in my chair. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, sliding her eyes up to my towel and made a noise of disgust as she leaned away from me, closer to him.
Slowly, I unwound the towel, my dripping hair snarled and standing haphazardly about my head. No amount of smoothing with my hand would tame the mop and I had no brush handy. I felt inadequate and inappropriate.
Soon the two of them were leaning toward each other talking intimately. I tried to lean in to talk with them, but the more I did, the more intense became their projection of "stay out of this." The more I tried to connect, the more they pulled away with disgust. The more I tried to show my love, the more they turned their back to me.
His wedding ring glimmered in the dimming lights as he moved his hand to her knee to comfort her in her growing discomfort of my presence. Then he squeezed her knee and pulled away his hand, placing it on his own knee. His ring sparked again until he fiddled with it and then slowly pulled it off, setting it on the arm of his chair. Out of the corner of the light, I could see the circle of gold sparkling there and I wondered at his action.
The show began, the music filling the air and the lights from the stage filling the house. The costumes were blindingly bright and covered in sequins and crystals. Had I been in a more comfortable space, I imagine I would have enjoyed the show. He leaned toward her, looking pointedly at me and said to her, "Let's get out of here. Do you want to?"
She glanced at me and back at him, nodding empatically. He reached for her hand, their fingers entwined, they rose from their chairs and they left the auditorium. When they opened the door, the lights from the lobby were painfully bright and when they exited, the door slammed resoundly behind them.
They left behind his ring that winked at me mockingly and a broken heart... my heart that slowly thudded in my chest, aching and crying...
Waking on the edge of that dream has left me haunted with the residue of unresolved heartache. I felt the pangs of having loved so deeply that I believed that person would never hurt me, only to discover it was that person who could inflict the deepest wounds. It took me years to release the memory of that boy and she was witness to a lot of the process. Now I sit here wondering... what next? When it comes to love, for me, there is no simple way of letting it go. I feel it down to the very core of who I am when I allow someone in. I don't do that often, but when I do, it's a lifelong connection.
Today I go forward into my life knowing I have loved and have loved big; I've fallen and have fallen hard; I have lived and have lived wide open. And, in that process, I've hurt big, grown big and become big. In this wound there is my strength and for that, I'm grateful.
Now I just wish that pain would dissolve...
It was an important event, a show of grand proportions that had just arrived in our city to bring its message of love and life. A few hundred of us had been asked to witness the final dress rehearsal and give feedback. I was excited to be counted amongst that number and arrived alone, having no idea who else would be there.
I had been asked to make a presentation during intermission. Prior to the show, my presentation had failed to finalize, my computer crashed and I had to start from scratch. In the process, I forgot to get ready until the very last moment. I arrived at the auditorium fully unprepared on every level, scared and sad. My soaking wet hair was in a towel turban and I paid no heed to the people, dressed at least in Sunday best, if not full formal, who looked at me as though I had no right to be there dressed in my casual clothes, no make-up and wet hair.
I found an empty seat on the right side of the auditorium and opened up my laptop upon the cushion. Crouching down on the floor, I furiously went to work to complete the work that, apparently, was not meant to be finished. The more frantically I worked, the more behind I got and the more frazzled I felt. The presentation wasn't working, there was no way the slideshow would be ready. I had to throw in the white flag. Surrender.
Feeling dejected, I closed up my computer and rose from the floor. I was near the front of the auditorium and they flashed the house lights so I quickly passed between the orchestra pit and the first row of patrons and ran up the left aisle to find my designated seat. It was on the end of a row of empty seats. As I approached it, feeling sad that there was no one I knew there, I spied my once-best friend a couple rows in front of me. She stared straight ahead, not acknowledging my existance.
I felt the tears burn, but bravely swallowed them. I didn't want to let them see me cry. I didn't want to let anyone see me cry. I slid slowly into my seat, towel-turban skeewompas on my head. I slouched down far so the view of the people behind me would not be interrupted by my headgear. I realized that I had left my cord over somewhere and had to find it. Retracing my steps, I retrieved it and then returned to my seat only to discover it was now occupied, as well as the seat next to it.
In my seat was the boy I met at 10, fell in love with in high school and loved for at least two more decades - far longer than he loved me.
In the seat next to him was my once-best friend. While she hadn't been a part of my life for anywhere near the length of time he had, she had been present for some of the biggest, most important shifts in my life.
The commonality: I had loved them both and trusted myself enough in their presence to open fully to them, show them my good, bad, ugly and beautiful. Both of them had been to the very center of my heart where I am most tender, most vulnerable, most innocent. Both of them chose out of relationship with me because they wanted to move on. Both of them left with stating how they felt and what they wanted and what their experience of our relationship had been without giving me the chance to use my voice. Both of them left me with my heart wide open and bleeding love.
Suddenly all the chairs in that section were full except the one opposite of her. I carefully edged my way through the row and slid into my seat. Both of them sat stone cold, no awareness of who I was or even that there was a person in front of them. They were aware of one another and made it apparent that they were happy to see one another, but neither of them acknowledged me. Feeling so out of place, I slouched further in my chair. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, sliding her eyes up to my towel and made a noise of disgust as she leaned away from me, closer to him.
Slowly, I unwound the towel, my dripping hair snarled and standing haphazardly about my head. No amount of smoothing with my hand would tame the mop and I had no brush handy. I felt inadequate and inappropriate.
Soon the two of them were leaning toward each other talking intimately. I tried to lean in to talk with them, but the more I did, the more intense became their projection of "stay out of this." The more I tried to connect, the more they pulled away with disgust. The more I tried to show my love, the more they turned their back to me.
His wedding ring glimmered in the dimming lights as he moved his hand to her knee to comfort her in her growing discomfort of my presence. Then he squeezed her knee and pulled away his hand, placing it on his own knee. His ring sparked again until he fiddled with it and then slowly pulled it off, setting it on the arm of his chair. Out of the corner of the light, I could see the circle of gold sparkling there and I wondered at his action.
The show began, the music filling the air and the lights from the stage filling the house. The costumes were blindingly bright and covered in sequins and crystals. Had I been in a more comfortable space, I imagine I would have enjoyed the show. He leaned toward her, looking pointedly at me and said to her, "Let's get out of here. Do you want to?"
She glanced at me and back at him, nodding empatically. He reached for her hand, their fingers entwined, they rose from their chairs and they left the auditorium. When they opened the door, the lights from the lobby were painfully bright and when they exited, the door slammed resoundly behind them.
They left behind his ring that winked at me mockingly and a broken heart... my heart that slowly thudded in my chest, aching and crying...
Waking on the edge of that dream has left me haunted with the residue of unresolved heartache. I felt the pangs of having loved so deeply that I believed that person would never hurt me, only to discover it was that person who could inflict the deepest wounds. It took me years to release the memory of that boy and she was witness to a lot of the process. Now I sit here wondering... what next? When it comes to love, for me, there is no simple way of letting it go. I feel it down to the very core of who I am when I allow someone in. I don't do that often, but when I do, it's a lifelong connection.
Today I go forward into my life knowing I have loved and have loved big; I've fallen and have fallen hard; I have lived and have lived wide open. And, in that process, I've hurt big, grown big and become big. In this wound there is my strength and for that, I'm grateful.
Now I just wish that pain would dissolve...
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Sparkling & Passionate!
About a month ago, a dear friend, MiLady Carol came in from Oregon to spend the holidays with her husband here in Utah. Jen Halterman and I, drove up to meet Carol in Northern Utah to spend some much-cherished time together at lunch. I love being with women who share my same commitments and passion for life and the hours we spent together that day were full of connected conversation and love.
Toward the end of our time together, Carol said, "Angie, I found some labradorite that, when I saw it, I knew it had to be yours." Carol makes breathtaking jewelry and when we got together in October, she had noticed my Moonstone pendant and mentioned that labradorite would also be a stone for me. Then I had commissioned her to keep her eyes open for the piece that should be mine.
I grew excited when she said she had found it and I held my breath as she pulled out the most goregous necklace and earring set I've ever seen. It sported labradorite and moonstone and as I gazed upon it, I was speechless and my eyes filled with tears. I was so moved.
In sessions when I'm wearing this jewelry, I've noticed I feel an enhanced openness and a greater ability to easefully tap into that which I need for the best result for my clients. I've had clients who have said, "You feel more grounded and strong." And other adults around me that have said, "You feel different to me. What has changed? You seem more... I don't know how to explain it... more grown up."And in everyday life, children especially are drawn to this jewelry. The kindergarteners that I'm around stare at it in awe with gasps and wide-eyes then will reverently reach out to caress it saying, "Oh! That is such a pretty necklace!" One little boy who is incredibly intuitive and magical himself said to me, "Now THAT is a magic necklace! Good for flying."
I notice I feel more passionate and alive on the days that I choose to wear this art on my ears and around my neck. It is, indeed, a most delicious experience! Thank you, MiLady, for sharing your divine gift with me. I love my necklace and I SO love feeling all growed up! :)
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Appreciation #161/365
Grace in Small Things
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Joy & Love
I thank you, Kristen and Kirk, for offering your wedding as a celebration, a gift to me and to those in attendance. I'm appreciating the high energy, the love and the joy that filled the meadow, the pond, the mountains, the sky. I felt honored to be there rejoicing with you and feel blessed to call you friends.
I've enclosed a few of the 300 images I captured during the event for you to enjoy.
With love,
Angie
I've enclosed a few of the 300 images I captured during the event for you to enjoy.
With love,
Angie
Saturday, May 09, 2009
In the Rain
I opened my email inbox today to find a note from one of my dearest loves in Canada."This reminds me of you..." was all it said. Attached to it was this picture.
I smiled and cried at the same time.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Community
A few years ago, when I officially took leave of the religion in which I was raised, I felt lonely. Leaving a religion that had been a part of me for my whole life - or, a religion of which I had always been a part - meant that I not only left the organization, but also the community, the social structure and many of the people. My life had been about meetings and scriptures and more meetings. My social life had circled around my church. My friends were all in my church. My family members, for the most part, were all in the church. Church in every aspect of my world.
For a long time, after my exit, I felt disassociated and dislocated and I sought a replacement. I wanted friends who had like-minds and with whom I could relate in healthy, non-religious ways. Because I left on my own terms, without any ire or angst or disgust toward the church, I didn't really blend well with the typical ex-Mormons who, for seemingly years after their departure, had a bitter axe to forcefully grind. Because I didn't care what the church (and still don't, for the most part) was doing "wrong" toward all of mankind, I didn't get wrapped up in the indignant tirades that many of them would lead.
And, sadly, because I had relied for all of my life on the words of the prophet, the church leaders, my teachers and my parents to tell me what I was supposed to do and when, I had no idea where to turn or how. I had a difficult time making decisions on my own and even more difficulty deciding what to do with my time, now that I had so much of it on my hand. In this space, I discovered a new place to learn. After having so much of my life committed to religion, when I was asked to commit only two hours each week to learn about being the best me possible, I jumped in with both feet and said, "Absolutely, YES!"
I believed - and still do - the basic principals of the gospel. Treat others as I wish to be treated. Love one another. Follow the ten commandments and be charitable to those around me, etc. Although I left the religious organization, I did not leave behind my values and still adhere to the basic "goodness" with which I was raised.
Although, some things have changed. I now believe that everyone has a right to be happy - no matter their age, race, gender, gender preference, religious beliefs or financial class. I also believe that we live more than one life - that our souls are eternal and return to this earth realm time and again at the soul's discretion to learn whatever it is they want to gain during this life. And I believe everyone is going to heaven.
Along the way, I've discovered that there is community outside of religion. I've discovered there are good people that believe in the same things I do and are not part of any particular religion. I have found that there are people who want the best for this world and believe in heaven and that we are all worthy of love, but have never attended a religious service. I have found a group of friends that believe empowering one another raises all of us to a higher level, together. That when one of us succeeds, all of us succeed. That no one is going to be left behind simply because they have chosen to marry someone of the same gender, or have chosen to not get married at all. I have a group of friends that believe in helping one another to find their genius attributes and to live in that genius is beneficial for the whole world.
I feel blessed to be part of such an amazing community. I feel happy knowing that each new day is a chance to prove to myself and to God that I am Love. I am the woman I was sent here to be.
For a long time, after my exit, I felt disassociated and dislocated and I sought a replacement. I wanted friends who had like-minds and with whom I could relate in healthy, non-religious ways. Because I left on my own terms, without any ire or angst or disgust toward the church, I didn't really blend well with the typical ex-Mormons who, for seemingly years after their departure, had a bitter axe to forcefully grind. Because I didn't care what the church (and still don't, for the most part) was doing "wrong" toward all of mankind, I didn't get wrapped up in the indignant tirades that many of them would lead.
And, sadly, because I had relied for all of my life on the words of the prophet, the church leaders, my teachers and my parents to tell me what I was supposed to do and when, I had no idea where to turn or how. I had a difficult time making decisions on my own and even more difficulty deciding what to do with my time, now that I had so much of it on my hand. In this space, I discovered a new place to learn. After having so much of my life committed to religion, when I was asked to commit only two hours each week to learn about being the best me possible, I jumped in with both feet and said, "Absolutely, YES!"
I believed - and still do - the basic principals of the gospel. Treat others as I wish to be treated. Love one another. Follow the ten commandments and be charitable to those around me, etc. Although I left the religious organization, I did not leave behind my values and still adhere to the basic "goodness" with which I was raised.
Although, some things have changed. I now believe that everyone has a right to be happy - no matter their age, race, gender, gender preference, religious beliefs or financial class. I also believe that we live more than one life - that our souls are eternal and return to this earth realm time and again at the soul's discretion to learn whatever it is they want to gain during this life. And I believe everyone is going to heaven.
Along the way, I've discovered that there is community outside of religion. I've discovered there are good people that believe in the same things I do and are not part of any particular religion. I have found that there are people who want the best for this world and believe in heaven and that we are all worthy of love, but have never attended a religious service. I have found a group of friends that believe empowering one another raises all of us to a higher level, together. That when one of us succeeds, all of us succeed. That no one is going to be left behind simply because they have chosen to marry someone of the same gender, or have chosen to not get married at all. I have a group of friends that believe in helping one another to find their genius attributes and to live in that genius is beneficial for the whole world.
I feel blessed to be part of such an amazing community. I feel happy knowing that each new day is a chance to prove to myself and to God that I am Love. I am the woman I was sent here to be.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
New Year's Do-Over
Yep. It's official. It's 6:54pm and I am absolutely draggin' my ass. My choice was well worth the exhaustion that is setting now, though. Karen and I chose into a New Year's do-over last night after co-creating a New Year's Eve in an Alternate Universe. It was amazing and uplifting and magical! And has ended up being my favorite New Year's Ever celebration ever! It will be a tradition for us that I am looking forward to. Her blog post has more eloquent detail than I am able to muster right now. Aaaaaand... there will be a Meditation coming Monday with more about my experience too. Don't wanna give away everything here and now, ya know. LOL I am just... so... tired. I must go to bed.
Above all that tiredness, though, is this gentle calm that I feel so grateful for. I feel excited for what lies ahead this year and am looking forward to each magical creation I will manifest.
Above all that tiredness, though, is this gentle calm that I feel so grateful for. I feel excited for what lies ahead this year and am looking forward to each magical creation I will manifest.
Monday, December 15, 2008
A Breath and A Sigh
In appreciation for all the comment support and email support I received from my cyber friends, I send out a warm burst of love.
Today... I feel quiet and physically tired. I realize, now, just how strong I truly am. I am also aware of how much my body carried for others during this past week. My muscles feel as though I spent the entire week at a gym.
My life is a blessing to behold. I am grateful to be living it and to be witnessing the gifts that flow through my path. I am amazed by the journey from sadness to full happiness to gratitude to sadness. Part of being alive is actually feeling all that and I am grateful to say that I did. I am.
Blessed be, my friends. And, thank you so much!
Today... I feel quiet and physically tired. I realize, now, just how strong I truly am. I am also aware of how much my body carried for others during this past week. My muscles feel as though I spent the entire week at a gym.
My life is a blessing to behold. I am grateful to be living it and to be witnessing the gifts that flow through my path. I am amazed by the journey from sadness to full happiness to gratitude to sadness. Part of being alive is actually feeling all that and I am grateful to say that I did. I am.
Blessed be, my friends. And, thank you so much!
Monday, December 08, 2008
Tearful Goodbye
It's a quiet morning here. For that, I am grateful. Tears fall slowly down my face and I feel full of love and... sadness.
A good friend died this weekend. A friend who believed in me. A friend who helped me grow and become a lot of who I am and supported me to get to where I am on my journey as a healer. A friend who saw in me all that I could not see for myself. A friend who trusted me, loved me and strengthened me. A friend who opened her heart to me and let me in. A friend who, after a thirteen-year journey with cancer, died quietly and peacefully in her sleep, at her home, with loved ones around her.
Susan Porter was my friend. She taught me so much about trusting myself and my gifts. She was the first person willing to get on my table - and keep getting on my table every other week - and take on full healing from within. She was the first person able to see in me that which I could not see in myself, yet knew, somehow, was there as a gift to bring to other's lives. She was the first person that, even though the work I do is so powerful and sometimes frighteningly overwhelming, she kept coming back.
She taught me love of myself and she taught me that I do have the ability to change another's life. She showed me that, when working with me, she was pain-free for over a year. She showed me that, through working with me, we could extend her life and get beyond the clutches of cancer and have her live a strong, beautiful life for awhile.
After a three-month break last autumn, wherein I came back to life from the Nile and she tried to recoup her strength from a strenuous project at summer's end, she got on my table in January of this year and I knew that this would be the year that I laid one of my warriors to rest. I cried then and I cry now because the world is less one brave soul who knew how to lead others into the light. I cry now because my friend is no longer here for me to physically touch and hug and laugh with. I cry now because... Sue is gone.
I love you, Sue. I am grateful for the impact you have had on my life. I am thankful for all that you brought into my world and for what I gained in knowing you. Thank you for believing in me, loving me and encouraging me to continue forward, even when I didn't know how or couldn't see the way. Thank you for allowing me into your heart and sharing with me your wisdom. And, mostly... I thank you for sharing our journey.
Blessed be, my friend. Blessed be.
A good friend died this weekend. A friend who believed in me. A friend who helped me grow and become a lot of who I am and supported me to get to where I am on my journey as a healer. A friend who saw in me all that I could not see for myself. A friend who trusted me, loved me and strengthened me. A friend who opened her heart to me and let me in. A friend who, after a thirteen-year journey with cancer, died quietly and peacefully in her sleep, at her home, with loved ones around her.
Susan Porter was my friend. She taught me so much about trusting myself and my gifts. She was the first person willing to get on my table - and keep getting on my table every other week - and take on full healing from within. She was the first person able to see in me that which I could not see in myself, yet knew, somehow, was there as a gift to bring to other's lives. She was the first person that, even though the work I do is so powerful and sometimes frighteningly overwhelming, she kept coming back.
She taught me love of myself and she taught me that I do have the ability to change another's life. She showed me that, when working with me, she was pain-free for over a year. She showed me that, through working with me, we could extend her life and get beyond the clutches of cancer and have her live a strong, beautiful life for awhile.
After a three-month break last autumn, wherein I came back to life from the Nile and she tried to recoup her strength from a strenuous project at summer's end, she got on my table in January of this year and I knew that this would be the year that I laid one of my warriors to rest. I cried then and I cry now because the world is less one brave soul who knew how to lead others into the light. I cry now because my friend is no longer here for me to physically touch and hug and laugh with. I cry now because... Sue is gone.
I love you, Sue. I am grateful for the impact you have had on my life. I am thankful for all that you brought into my world and for what I gained in knowing you. Thank you for believing in me, loving me and encouraging me to continue forward, even when I didn't know how or couldn't see the way. Thank you for allowing me into your heart and sharing with me your wisdom. And, mostly... I thank you for sharing our journey.
Blessed be, my friend. Blessed be.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Playing for Change
One of my most favorite things about my life, about being alive at this time on this planet ,is that our modern technology has a way of connecting people in ways that have never before been available to us. I love that my life is rich with people from all walks of life, from all around the world. I am grateful that I am fed so completely by my interactions with people whom I may never meet face to face, but love nonetheless. I love that there are more and more of us seeking to create a change through 100% honesty, accountability, genius, creativity and through, most importantly, love.
I was visiting one of my friend's blogs today, Cele, and now find myself sitting here with tears running down my face. I am so touched by the magic of this life and the beauty that can be found all around the world. I had never heard of this program, Playing for Change, before and am grateful to Cele for posting this video, which introduced me to it.
I am so full of love and appreciation...
I was visiting one of my friend's blogs today, Cele, and now find myself sitting here with tears running down my face. I am so touched by the magic of this life and the beauty that can be found all around the world. I had never heard of this program, Playing for Change, before and am grateful to Cele for posting this video, which introduced me to it.
I am so full of love and appreciation...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
TT - "Gratitude"
Nothing can evoke my gratitude more strongly than spending time with my loved ones. Last night, I had the honor of supporting one of my very good friends, Mary Tebbs, as she performed her new show Make it Light. Not only did I get to be there as her friend, I also got to be there as the official photographer. Magic!
The more I play with my camera, the more I realize how much I love it. One of my friends recently told me that she experiences me so differently when I have my camera in my hands. She said she sees me as very young and playful and that, rather than hiding behind the camera as many photographers do, it becomes a toy that is part of the action and through which I interact with life.
I have so much for which to be grateful. In thinking back over my life, I have realized that my gratitude is coming first and foremost in my life. I feel happy about that. I have so many friends and loved ones in my world that enhance my life and bring me to getting to know myself completely. As I look at my life through the eyes of gratitude, everything becomes beautiful. Everything is a miracle. Everywhere there is magic.
Gratitude, indeed!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Red Hot
It was an interesting day yesterday.
I spent the bulk of it researching Proposition 8, the involvement of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in this battle and reading the entire Constitution and all Amendments. In the middle of that, a good friend of mine contacted me about his decision to possibly leave the Church. He lives in Canada. The first he heard of the Proposition 8 issue was the day after the USA voted in Obama and Proposition 8 in California. He has done some research on his end. He has asked questions. He has received no answers. While he was doing all that, a friend from his ward emailed him, curious about why he had been missing from Church. He told her the truth - that he could not and would not attend church while the questions were unanswered because, at this point, he was in opposition with the prophet of the Church. He shared with me some of what was going on and I found myself getting pulled into the debate. I responded with fierceness that surprised me. I spent the rest of the day responding to a person who would never receive my response. It was more of an exercise for me. With my friend's permission, I am reposting the long-winded email from his friend. My response (equally as long-winded, I admit) is in BIG BOLD RED letters.
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Wow, I didn't know what to say when I first read your email. I'm sorry that this has caused such a conflict to your conscience and I'm also sorry that the Bishop didn't know how to answer you. Sometimes, when you are in leadership, you are afraid to offend and by not saying anything it sometimes makes it worse. Eh? What the? He is put in a position of leadership TO HAVE THE ANSWERS or to get them resolved immediately. Bishops are not "afraid to offend". He is human and he didn't know the answer. He admitted such and referred him onward. That is cool. But COME ON! Afraid to offend???
I don't know if I have the right answer but I do have some thoughts for you. I hope what I have to say helps and doesn't make the situation worse. I feel that Satan's best tools is to use our own words against us to confuse the situation. After living in the states, I can honestly say, it is a different world there. When we use our perspective on how it is in Canada and transfer that to how it is in the states, it doesn't work. It is the wild west still in a lot of ways and they have to fight for everything there. What does that mean??? Are we the wild west because a portion of our population is fighting for their rights??? do you not have a gay population in Canada? Do you not think that gay population would put up the same fight if your government were to dictate their rights to them? In researching Canada's policy on gay marriages, I discovered On July 20, 2005, Canada became the fourth country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide with the approval of the Civil Marriage Act. Court decisions, starting in 2003, each already legalized same-sex marriage in eight out of ten provinces and one of three territories, whose residents comprised about 90% of Canada's population. Before passage of the Act, more than 3,000 same-sex couples had already married in these areas.[2] Most legal benefits commonly associated with marriage had been extended to cohabiting same-sex couples since 1999. The Civil Marriage Act was introduced by Paul Martin's Liberal government in the Canadian House of Commons on February 1, 2005 as Bill C-38. It was passed by the House of Commons on June 28, 2005, by the Senate on July 19, 2005, and it received Royal Assent the following day. On December 7, 2006, the House of Commons effectively reaffirmed the legislation by a vote of 175 to 123, defeating a Conservative motion to examine the matter again. This was the third vote supporting same-sex marriage taken by three Parliaments under three Prime Ministers in three different years. So, there in Canada, your gay population is already able to get married legally. Do you not think that they would revolt if you took away that right again?
I have taken a few moments to familiarize myself with some of what prop 8 is, and the churches official stand on it. From what I can understand, ( this is just my opinion) the church made a choice to get involved in this matter because it is a matter of church that state is now trying to be involved in. From what I understand, gay couples can have the same rights as unwed straight couples and that is their constitutional right to choose who they sleep with. The problem is that by wanting to change the definition of marriage the government is getting involved in church and god. It may not seem like that, but because marriage began on this earth with Adam and Eve, before any form of government, it is a religious act. Why is it religious? If Adam and Eve were here before any form of government, it would also be before any form of formal religion. And if marriage is, as you say yourself here, "ordained of God between a man and a woman" why was polygamy okay? SO because marriage is ordained of God between a man and a woman we have to defend that.
On the surface it may seem, just as you said, that we are trying to take away the rights of others and whom they choose to marry. Unfortunately that is all Satan wants us to see. Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps it is Satan that is getting you to believe that it is okay to take away the rights of people to choose whom they marry? What did the people say when the government told the original church leaders that they were not able to choose whom they married beyond one wife? Was that Satan too? What he doesn't want us to see is the underlying changes and effects on our families that this will have. How does a man marrying another man, for instance, change or effect YOUR family? Give me a clear, concise answer of how YOUR eternal marriage will be changed or of any less value if that woman marries another woman? In Mass. the only other state with same sex marriage laws, I believe Hawaii and Connecticut also have legalized gay marriages, in addition to YOUR ENTIRE COUNTRY. they have taken a parents rights away to be informed as to when their children will be taught same sex orientation material and they also will not allow you to have your child not be taught these things. It wouldn't be a problem if my child was taught that. She has already been taught about ALL aspects of sexuality and same-gender attraction by HER MOTHER in HER HOME where the education should begin. The problem is that parents are not giving a loving, compassionate education to their children about ANY aspects of sexuality, let alone homosexuality. All that is being passed on is that sex is dirty and bad and homosexuality is evil and you will go to hell if you are gay. In the United States of America, hate crimes against homosexuals is on an all-time high. They are not safe right now and that is because our religions and now our government are teaching that these people are evil. They are treating them as second-class citizens. Parents are teaching hatred, not compassion. This law also opens up the doors for the government to regulate others things within religion, such as our laws on morality and the church could be put in a situation where we have to allow gay people to be baptized duh. They are already able to be baptized AND receive the priesthood. They cannot receive a temple recommend, as far as I have heard. According to the Church headquarters, gay people are supposed to be treated with compassion. They are supposed to be able to attend church without hassle and live a good life like any other celibate SINGLE person - they just don't get to get married. and receive the priesthood and go to the temple. BECAUSE they will be following the LAW of the land and there would be no criteria to exclude them from those ordinances. The whole basis of family that was designed by God could be under minded if we allow minority groups and the governments who try to please them a voice strong enough to change what was set forth from God at the beginning of time. Feeling redundant, but I choose to reiterate. "From the beginning of time" you say? Why, then, were the early Mormons allowed to marry more than one woman? In fact, as I have studied the Bible - Mormons say the true meaning of which has been lost in translation, I know, but this book is the common thread throughout Christianity - never does God say that marriage should be between one man and one woman. Yes, in Genesis 2:24, it does talk about "cleaving unto his wife" but... did you also know that cleave means to rip apart? Semantics, I know. That Bible, the book that we say is at the heart of the beginning of all religions, was written by man at God's direction. The Mormons say that they believe in the Bible in as far as it has been translated correctly. Why are they able to accept that Genesis 2:24 has been translated correctly?
I don't know about you, but I don't want my rights to teach my children what I feel is proper and moral to be taken away because the law dictates that this is normal behaviour and must be taught as such. What will it hurt your child to know that homosexuality is normal? If, as many Mormons believe, homosexuality is a CHOICE, couldn't your child as easily choose to NOT be homosexual as they could CHOOSE to be heterosexual? How would educating your child about homosexuality corrupt your child or take away your rights? You have every right to teach your child in your home about homosexuality and how you view it. You have every right to teach your child what your church believes about homosexuality. You have every right to share with your child your views on whether it is good, bad, right, wrong, evil or indifferent whether or not it is taught in the school system. You SHOULD be teaching your children these concepts and giving them ALL the information so they can make a healthy, informed "choice" about anything they are confronted with. As far as your question regarding section 134, I believe that the church got involved this time because the government was trying to get involved in something that is religious. As I read that section, particularly vs 4 and 6, it clearly states that ..."human laws being instituted for the express purpose of regulating our interests as individuals and nations, between man and man: and divine laws given of heaven, prescribing rules on spiritual concerns..." Because marriage and family are spiritual concerns, I feel that Pre. Monson did not go against anything in this section of doctrine. Also because this law will then open the gate to the government dictating what our religious rights and responsibilities will be in the name of equality and civil rights.
We are also taught (section 109) that in the last days the Constitution will hang by a thread. And you are SO right. I actually took the time to read through the Constitution AND all 27 amendments today. Guess what. There is nothing in there declaring who can marry whom or how many of them they can marry. What is happening here is that certain groups are fighting to AMEND the constitution to take away the rights of some of our people. THEY ARE WANTING TO CHANGE THE CONSTITUTION TO READ THAT MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN. They are wanting to change the Constitution. Does the implication of those words sink in, at all? The Constitution will hang by a thread because amendments are being suggested that TAKE AWAY THE RIGHTS of a population. These people, these religions, want the highest level of legal documentation for the USA to state that gays do not have the right to marry. We are in the last days, the things that the founding fathers set up in righteousness will be tested in the name of equality and civil rights. Do not underestimate the lengths that the adversary will go to, to bring down the Lords elect. Exactly! The founding fathers set up the Constitution as they saw fit back then with what limited vision they had of the future. It was divinely driven, I fully believe. They had God on their side. However, they could not see all that would be coming in the future. Thus, it has been amended TWENTY-SEVEN times since it was originally created. And, in those 27 changes, there has NEVER been an amendment that has taken away the rights of a group. Granted, we did take away the right to get drunk, but that was overturned quickly. The other Amendments have been created to further the unification of the nation. They have given rights where none had been before. And, back then, the founding fathers did not see a need for the government to declare that marriage was between one man and one woman because it is NOT a governmental issue - which is what the Supreme Court declared when they overturned the vote of 2000 to take away the rights of gays to marry. The Supreme Court said that it was illegal for any faction of people to declare that another group of people cannot marry. To have the religions request the government to become involved in such an issue is preposterous and unconstitutional. Division between religion and state means just that. The whole reason this is even up for debate is because the religions got involved in what was originally an issue between the people and their government. I would like you to take some time to think about why this has bothered you so much. The actual entity of the church just didn't throw money at this situation. It was us, the members, who chose to stand up and have a voice, shine their light in the darkness. If pre. Monson whipped out a check book to the fast offering fund and wrote and check and said have this stopped, that would be one thing, but he didn't. Not as far as you can prove, you are right. He didn't do that. HOWEVER, the First Presidency did send down an official declaration to be read at pulpit on June 29, 2008 of all California wards. This letter stated: "We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time..." While he did not write out a check from the fast offering funds himself, he strongly urged all Mormons to do just that. And any Mormons who have been in opposition of this have been taken to Bishop's court. He encouraged us to be politically active, as the church always has. I really think that you may need to take a step back and examine why this struck you so hard. And please remember, that as much as the prophet is supposed to be the most righteous man on earth he is still a man, with all the weakness of the flesh. He is held to the same laws as you and I. The Lord is no respecter of persons. I am a little concerned about this statement. He is no respecter of persons? What does that mean, exactly? I am hearing you say that the prophet is ONLY a man, and therefore subject to being human - being flawed. As I read this last little bit, it sounds as though you are making excuses for his actions, somehow. That, somehow, if the prophet has done something to tick off another human that it is okay and God has nothing to do with that??? Having once been a member of the Church, I know they teach that the Prophet is the mouth-piece of God and that the First Presidency will not lead you astray. Therefore, how can you say what you have said here? So if you are still mad at the prophet, that may be something that you need to think about too.
If we are looking for fault, we will always find it. The saviour left his perfect church in the hands of not so perfect men. Truly... these comments, when read without emotional filters on, imply that the church is being ran by men, not God and that, perhaps, these men could screw up. If your religion teaches truth, God would never let that happen. It sounds as though you are saying that the hands holding this church are not perfect and make mistakes. It sounds as though you are implying that the Presidency - and therefore the entire church membership - involvement with Proposition 8 could have been a human decision, rather than a Godly decision. Whether it was man or God that made the decision to instruct the people to support Prop 8 with their "means and time" it doesn't matter, so why do you bring that into this? The Church was 40% of the financial support of the over $75 million that went into the campaign for Prop 8. They were the highest contributing group of all supporters. God or man, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints threw over THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS toward a legal issue which takes away the rights of an entire sector of people. Couldn't that $30mil been used to something more productive? Couldn't it have been used to help the hundreds of homeless here in Utah instead? Couldn't it have been used to help the homeless in California? Couldn't it have been used toward bringing our nation together, rather than dividing it? The church involved themselves in something that was an issue between the people and the government. They stepped up and declared that a significant portion of the American population are second class citizens who should be denied their rights. I really think that Satan has found a soft spot in you that he is trying to exploit. And you are using guilt to wield your power over him in the name of the church. How does that make you any better than Satan? And you are letting him. You are ready to leave the church because we were trying to protect the sanctity of marriage. As I understand it, he is pondering leaving the church because the church is unable to provide a clear, concise answer as to why the church is involved in taking away the rights of others. I truly hope that nothing I have said offends you, but I know that Satan works the hardest on us when are progressing. Don't let him knock you down. Don't let him take away all you have worked toward. Don't let him take away the eternal reward, that he will NEVER get. Don't let him win. Pray and pray and pray then reread section 134 and pray again. I know when we let the spirit guide us we can have a better understanding of what is being taught.
I hope this helped. It's only my thoughts. Don't stay away, you will regret the years that you will lose. Let me know if there is anything else i can do.
Take care,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, indeed, my friend. Do take care. There are wicked forces at play right now in the world and I am not all together certain about where I will find their headquarters.
I spent the bulk of it researching Proposition 8, the involvement of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in this battle and reading the entire Constitution and all Amendments. In the middle of that, a good friend of mine contacted me about his decision to possibly leave the Church. He lives in Canada. The first he heard of the Proposition 8 issue was the day after the USA voted in Obama and Proposition 8 in California. He has done some research on his end. He has asked questions. He has received no answers. While he was doing all that, a friend from his ward emailed him, curious about why he had been missing from Church. He told her the truth - that he could not and would not attend church while the questions were unanswered because, at this point, he was in opposition with the prophet of the Church. He shared with me some of what was going on and I found myself getting pulled into the debate. I responded with fierceness that surprised me. I spent the rest of the day responding to a person who would never receive my response. It was more of an exercise for me. With my friend's permission, I am reposting the long-winded email from his friend. My response (equally as long-winded, I admit) is in BIG BOLD RED letters.
Wow, I didn't know what to say when I first read your email. I'm sorry that this has caused such a conflict to your conscience and I'm also sorry that the Bishop didn't know how to answer you. Sometimes, when you are in leadership, you are afraid to offend and by not saying anything it sometimes makes it worse. Eh? What the? He is put in a position of leadership TO HAVE THE ANSWERS or to get them resolved immediately. Bishops are not "afraid to offend". He is human and he didn't know the answer. He admitted such and referred him onward. That is cool. But COME ON! Afraid to offend???
I don't know if I have the right answer but I do have some thoughts for you. I hope what I have to say helps and doesn't make the situation worse. I feel that Satan's best tools is to use our own words against us to confuse the situation. After living in the states, I can honestly say, it is a different world there. When we use our perspective on how it is in Canada and transfer that to how it is in the states, it doesn't work. It is the wild west still in a lot of ways and they have to fight for everything there. What does that mean??? Are we the wild west because a portion of our population is fighting for their rights??? do you not have a gay population in Canada? Do you not think that gay population would put up the same fight if your government were to dictate their rights to them? In researching Canada's policy on gay marriages, I discovered On July 20, 2005, Canada became the fourth country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide with the approval of the Civil Marriage Act. Court decisions, starting in 2003, each already legalized same-sex marriage in eight out of ten provinces and one of three territories, whose residents comprised about 90% of Canada's population. Before passage of the Act, more than 3,000 same-sex couples had already married in these areas.[2] Most legal benefits commonly associated with marriage had been extended to cohabiting same-sex couples since 1999. The Civil Marriage Act was introduced by Paul Martin's Liberal government in the Canadian House of Commons on February 1, 2005 as Bill C-38. It was passed by the House of Commons on June 28, 2005, by the Senate on July 19, 2005, and it received Royal Assent the following day. On December 7, 2006, the House of Commons effectively reaffirmed the legislation by a vote of 175 to 123, defeating a Conservative motion to examine the matter again. This was the third vote supporting same-sex marriage taken by three Parliaments under three Prime Ministers in three different years. So, there in Canada, your gay population is already able to get married legally. Do you not think that they would revolt if you took away that right again?
I have taken a few moments to familiarize myself with some of what prop 8 is, and the churches official stand on it. From what I can understand, ( this is just my opinion) the church made a choice to get involved in this matter because it is a matter of church that state is now trying to be involved in. From what I understand, gay couples can have the same rights as unwed straight couples and that is their constitutional right to choose who they sleep with. The problem is that by wanting to change the definition of marriage the government is getting involved in church and god. It may not seem like that, but because marriage began on this earth with Adam and Eve, before any form of government, it is a religious act. Why is it religious? If Adam and Eve were here before any form of government, it would also be before any form of formal religion. And if marriage is, as you say yourself here, "ordained of God between a man and a woman" why was polygamy okay? SO because marriage is ordained of God between a man and a woman we have to defend that.
On the surface it may seem, just as you said, that we are trying to take away the rights of others and whom they choose to marry. Unfortunately that is all Satan wants us to see. Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps it is Satan that is getting you to believe that it is okay to take away the rights of people to choose whom they marry? What did the people say when the government told the original church leaders that they were not able to choose whom they married beyond one wife? Was that Satan too? What he doesn't want us to see is the underlying changes and effects on our families that this will have. How does a man marrying another man, for instance, change or effect YOUR family? Give me a clear, concise answer of how YOUR eternal marriage will be changed or of any less value if that woman marries another woman? In Mass. the only other state with same sex marriage laws, I believe Hawaii and Connecticut also have legalized gay marriages, in addition to YOUR ENTIRE COUNTRY. they have taken a parents rights away to be informed as to when their children will be taught same sex orientation material and they also will not allow you to have your child not be taught these things. It wouldn't be a problem if my child was taught that. She has already been taught about ALL aspects of sexuality and same-gender attraction by HER MOTHER in HER HOME where the education should begin. The problem is that parents are not giving a loving, compassionate education to their children about ANY aspects of sexuality, let alone homosexuality. All that is being passed on is that sex is dirty and bad and homosexuality is evil and you will go to hell if you are gay. In the United States of America, hate crimes against homosexuals is on an all-time high. They are not safe right now and that is because our religions and now our government are teaching that these people are evil. They are treating them as second-class citizens. Parents are teaching hatred, not compassion. This law also opens up the doors for the government to regulate others things within religion, such as our laws on morality and the church could be put in a situation where we have to allow gay people to be baptized duh. They are already able to be baptized AND receive the priesthood. They cannot receive a temple recommend, as far as I have heard. According to the Church headquarters, gay people are supposed to be treated with compassion. They are supposed to be able to attend church without hassle and live a good life like any other celibate SINGLE person - they just don't get to get married. and receive the priesthood and go to the temple. BECAUSE they will be following the LAW of the land and there would be no criteria to exclude them from those ordinances. The whole basis of family that was designed by God could be under minded if we allow minority groups and the governments who try to please them a voice strong enough to change what was set forth from God at the beginning of time. Feeling redundant, but I choose to reiterate. "From the beginning of time" you say? Why, then, were the early Mormons allowed to marry more than one woman? In fact, as I have studied the Bible - Mormons say the true meaning of which has been lost in translation, I know, but this book is the common thread throughout Christianity - never does God say that marriage should be between one man and one woman. Yes, in Genesis 2:24, it does talk about "cleaving unto his wife" but... did you also know that cleave means to rip apart? Semantics, I know. That Bible, the book that we say is at the heart of the beginning of all religions, was written by man at God's direction. The Mormons say that they believe in the Bible in as far as it has been translated correctly. Why are they able to accept that Genesis 2:24 has been translated correctly?
I don't know about you, but I don't want my rights to teach my children what I feel is proper and moral to be taken away because the law dictates that this is normal behaviour and must be taught as such. What will it hurt your child to know that homosexuality is normal? If, as many Mormons believe, homosexuality is a CHOICE, couldn't your child as easily choose to NOT be homosexual as they could CHOOSE to be heterosexual? How would educating your child about homosexuality corrupt your child or take away your rights? You have every right to teach your child in your home about homosexuality and how you view it. You have every right to teach your child what your church believes about homosexuality. You have every right to share with your child your views on whether it is good, bad, right, wrong, evil or indifferent whether or not it is taught in the school system. You SHOULD be teaching your children these concepts and giving them ALL the information so they can make a healthy, informed "choice" about anything they are confronted with. As far as your question regarding section 134, I believe that the church got involved this time because the government was trying to get involved in something that is religious. As I read that section, particularly vs 4 and 6, it clearly states that ..."human laws being instituted for the express purpose of regulating our interests as individuals and nations, between man and man: and divine laws given of heaven, prescribing rules on spiritual concerns..." Because marriage and family are spiritual concerns, I feel that Pre. Monson did not go against anything in this section of doctrine. Also because this law will then open the gate to the government dictating what our religious rights and responsibilities will be in the name of equality and civil rights.
We are also taught (section 109) that in the last days the Constitution will hang by a thread. And you are SO right. I actually took the time to read through the Constitution AND all 27 amendments today. Guess what. There is nothing in there declaring who can marry whom or how many of them they can marry. What is happening here is that certain groups are fighting to AMEND the constitution to take away the rights of some of our people. THEY ARE WANTING TO CHANGE THE CONSTITUTION TO READ THAT MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN. They are wanting to change the Constitution. Does the implication of those words sink in, at all? The Constitution will hang by a thread because amendments are being suggested that TAKE AWAY THE RIGHTS of a population. These people, these religions, want the highest level of legal documentation for the USA to state that gays do not have the right to marry. We are in the last days, the things that the founding fathers set up in righteousness will be tested in the name of equality and civil rights. Do not underestimate the lengths that the adversary will go to, to bring down the Lords elect. Exactly! The founding fathers set up the Constitution as they saw fit back then with what limited vision they had of the future. It was divinely driven, I fully believe. They had God on their side. However, they could not see all that would be coming in the future. Thus, it has been amended TWENTY-SEVEN times since it was originally created. And, in those 27 changes, there has NEVER been an amendment that has taken away the rights of a group. Granted, we did take away the right to get drunk, but that was overturned quickly. The other Amendments have been created to further the unification of the nation. They have given rights where none had been before. And, back then, the founding fathers did not see a need for the government to declare that marriage was between one man and one woman because it is NOT a governmental issue - which is what the Supreme Court declared when they overturned the vote of 2000 to take away the rights of gays to marry. The Supreme Court said that it was illegal for any faction of people to declare that another group of people cannot marry. To have the religions request the government to become involved in such an issue is preposterous and unconstitutional. Division between religion and state means just that. The whole reason this is even up for debate is because the religions got involved in what was originally an issue between the people and their government. I would like you to take some time to think about why this has bothered you so much. The actual entity of the church just didn't throw money at this situation. It was us, the members, who chose to stand up and have a voice, shine their light in the darkness. If pre. Monson whipped out a check book to the fast offering fund and wrote and check and said have this stopped, that would be one thing, but he didn't. Not as far as you can prove, you are right. He didn't do that. HOWEVER, the First Presidency did send down an official declaration to be read at pulpit on June 29, 2008 of all California wards. This letter stated: "We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time..." While he did not write out a check from the fast offering funds himself, he strongly urged all Mormons to do just that. And any Mormons who have been in opposition of this have been taken to Bishop's court. He encouraged us to be politically active, as the church always has. I really think that you may need to take a step back and examine why this struck you so hard. And please remember, that as much as the prophet is supposed to be the most righteous man on earth he is still a man, with all the weakness of the flesh. He is held to the same laws as you and I. The Lord is no respecter of persons. I am a little concerned about this statement. He is no respecter of persons? What does that mean, exactly? I am hearing you say that the prophet is ONLY a man, and therefore subject to being human - being flawed. As I read this last little bit, it sounds as though you are making excuses for his actions, somehow. That, somehow, if the prophet has done something to tick off another human that it is okay and God has nothing to do with that??? Having once been a member of the Church, I know they teach that the Prophet is the mouth-piece of God and that the First Presidency will not lead you astray. Therefore, how can you say what you have said here? So if you are still mad at the prophet, that may be something that you need to think about too.
If we are looking for fault, we will always find it. The saviour left his perfect church in the hands of not so perfect men. Truly... these comments, when read without emotional filters on, imply that the church is being ran by men, not God and that, perhaps, these men could screw up. If your religion teaches truth, God would never let that happen. It sounds as though you are saying that the hands holding this church are not perfect and make mistakes. It sounds as though you are implying that the Presidency - and therefore the entire church membership - involvement with Proposition 8 could have been a human decision, rather than a Godly decision. Whether it was man or God that made the decision to instruct the people to support Prop 8 with their "means and time" it doesn't matter, so why do you bring that into this? The Church was 40% of the financial support of the over $75 million that went into the campaign for Prop 8. They were the highest contributing group of all supporters. God or man, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints threw over THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS toward a legal issue which takes away the rights of an entire sector of people. Couldn't that $30mil been used to something more productive? Couldn't it have been used to help the hundreds of homeless here in Utah instead? Couldn't it have been used to help the homeless in California? Couldn't it have been used toward bringing our nation together, rather than dividing it? The church involved themselves in something that was an issue between the people and the government. They stepped up and declared that a significant portion of the American population are second class citizens who should be denied their rights. I really think that Satan has found a soft spot in you that he is trying to exploit. And you are using guilt to wield your power over him in the name of the church. How does that make you any better than Satan? And you are letting him. You are ready to leave the church because we were trying to protect the sanctity of marriage. As I understand it, he is pondering leaving the church because the church is unable to provide a clear, concise answer as to why the church is involved in taking away the rights of others. I truly hope that nothing I have said offends you, but I know that Satan works the hardest on us when are progressing. Don't let him knock you down. Don't let him take away all you have worked toward. Don't let him take away the eternal reward, that he will NEVER get. Don't let him win. Pray and pray and pray then reread section 134 and pray again. I know when we let the spirit guide us we can have a better understanding of what is being taught.
I hope this helped. It's only my thoughts. Don't stay away, you will regret the years that you will lose. Let me know if there is anything else i can do.
Take care,
Yes, indeed, my friend. Do take care. There are wicked forces at play right now in the world and I am not all together certain about where I will find their headquarters.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Visitation
I have loved him since we were ten. He died almost four years ago, yet he visited me last night. Ironically, he called himself by the name I use for him in my autobiography. He took me by the hand and I could feel the warmth of him. When I do my work and the spirits join me, I can feel them, but they feel cold. I was confused by the heat in the room, warm enough that, on this cold autumn night with the window opened, I threw off the blankets and settled into the sauna of his presence.
He said, "I love you." His eyes glittered with unshed tears. I felt them burning in my own eyes as well and I breathed deeply. I have been missing him so much lately and then, there he was. It's his birthday Monday. I miss hearing his voice.
He continued and I soaked in the sound of his words, the warmth of him and felt like melting into the chocolate of his eyes, "I love you. I always have. I always will. I'm loving you from this side now."
I opened my eyes for a brief moment to see if he was really there. I could feel his touch on me and the room was full of glimmering light, but I couldn't see him. I longed to see him and closed my eyes again. He was still there. And I melted into him, missing him beyond this world.
And I slid into sleep with this song playing in my heart and mind...
He said, "I love you." His eyes glittered with unshed tears. I felt them burning in my own eyes as well and I breathed deeply. I have been missing him so much lately and then, there he was. It's his birthday Monday. I miss hearing his voice.
He continued and I soaked in the sound of his words, the warmth of him and felt like melting into the chocolate of his eyes, "I love you. I always have. I always will. I'm loving you from this side now."
I opened my eyes for a brief moment to see if he was really there. I could feel his touch on me and the room was full of glimmering light, but I couldn't see him. I longed to see him and closed my eyes again. He was still there. And I melted into him, missing him beyond this world.
And I slid into sleep with this song playing in my heart and mind...
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
That Sound You Hear is a Sigh...
And it is a great big sigh.
I just learned a lesson that cost me over a thousand dollars.
Here. Let me share the lesson with you...
I just learned a lesson that cost me over a thousand dollars.
Here. Let me share the lesson with you...
When doing business with someone EVEN if (or maybe, especially if) they are a friend...
GET A FUCKING CONTRACT SIGNED FIRST!!!
Ye-eah. That is all I have to say today.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Drama
I am surprised to discover that, even in my space of peacefulness, I am able to create lots of drama in my head and find myself unwittingly embroiled in the drama outside of myself quickly. Suddenly, I will find myself wondering why I feel like I am walking sideways on a slippery slope with one foot continually sliding out from under me and having to struggle to find balance. I will check in and... what's this?!!! TA-DA! Drama!
Sheesh!
I have had an awareness, though, while in a current drama with someone I had thought was my friend. This person has been lying to me for a very long time. From the very moment when I stood before them and asked, "I feel like it was me you were talking about in that story. Was it?" That person chose, in that moment, to deny the truth and I willingly bought into the new story that replaced the truth that I had already intuitively felt and knew. I denied my truth in that moment and betrayed myself. I feel so angry about that!
As I wrote out my feelings about this situation, I began to understand what is going on for me:
I have listened to others before myself for far too long. I have trusted others too easily and for longer than I should have in many cases. Ten years ago I made a commitment to stop those patterns. Since then, I have violated myself more times than I care to admit. This year, when I took on the ALC commitment, I did it whole-heartedly and with full intent. I chose in fully, which left me no opening to back out on myself. I made a commitment to always listen to myself first and follow my intuition. I made a commitment to source my own safety. I made a commitment to learn easefully and with laughter. I made a commitment to drop the stories, drop the patterns and MOVE FORWARD in healthy ways. I made a commitment to recognize where I am violating myself and put an immediate stop to it.
With my patterns of the past juxtaposed with my commitments this year, I’m aware that my pendulum has swung very far to the other side and I have become slow to trust and quick to back away when I feel violated. I have also become unforgiving at the first sign of someone violating me or betraying my trust.
I broke that agreement when I sold myself out and bought into you. I feel so angry about that and how you have dishonored me since then. Your actions have brought you to the center of my crossfire as I find balance between who I was and who I am. I am certain the pendulum will swing to center when I am ready and I will find the place I need to be in to trust AND forgive at the same time. Until that time, it is no longer okay for others to violate me, batter me or betray me. I am providing no leniency in this matter. And no second chances. Yes, it sounds harsh. That is where I am.
And that, my friends, is truly where I am.
Sheesh!
I have had an awareness, though, while in a current drama with someone I had thought was my friend. This person has been lying to me for a very long time. From the very moment when I stood before them and asked, "I feel like it was me you were talking about in that story. Was it?" That person chose, in that moment, to deny the truth and I willingly bought into the new story that replaced the truth that I had already intuitively felt and knew. I denied my truth in that moment and betrayed myself. I feel so angry about that!
As I wrote out my feelings about this situation, I began to understand what is going on for me:
I have listened to others before myself for far too long. I have trusted others too easily and for longer than I should have in many cases. Ten years ago I made a commitment to stop those patterns. Since then, I have violated myself more times than I care to admit. This year, when I took on the ALC commitment, I did it whole-heartedly and with full intent. I chose in fully, which left me no opening to back out on myself. I made a commitment to always listen to myself first and follow my intuition. I made a commitment to source my own safety. I made a commitment to learn easefully and with laughter. I made a commitment to drop the stories, drop the patterns and MOVE FORWARD in healthy ways. I made a commitment to recognize where I am violating myself and put an immediate stop to it.
With my patterns of the past juxtaposed with my commitments this year, I’m aware that my pendulum has swung very far to the other side and I have become slow to trust and quick to back away when I feel violated. I have also become unforgiving at the first sign of someone violating me or betraying my trust.
I broke that agreement when I sold myself out and bought into you. I feel so angry about that and how you have dishonored me since then. Your actions have brought you to the center of my crossfire as I find balance between who I was and who I am. I am certain the pendulum will swing to center when I am ready and I will find the place I need to be in to trust AND forgive at the same time. Until that time, it is no longer okay for others to violate me, batter me or betray me. I am providing no leniency in this matter. And no second chances. Yes, it sounds harsh. That is where I am.
And that, my friends, is truly where I am.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tears...
They fall. Quietly and persistently. Saying goodbye... or the knowledge of that impending word stills my heart at times and I bow my head. Grateful for the time. Wishing there was more. And holding on for all I am worth.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A Lot of a Good Thing
A Lot of a Good Thing
Angie K. Millgate reporting for Tebbs News
The medical staff at the University of Utah Hospital have come to recognize just how loved Mary Tebbs is and are on a first name basis with her. During the first couple days of her stay, guests of the well-loved Tebbs were greeted at the information desks with a knowing nod and a pointed finger, “She’s in room 414.”
After a day full of visitors, Tebbs was overflowing with love and feeling tired in a beautiful way. As the day progressed, she realized that she was loving all the visitors and basking in the love of friends and family. By nightfall, she became clearer on what she wanted to create.
“I want this to be a healing space,” Tebbs stated. “I love all my peeps and I love receiving all this love.” She went on to request that, when her people visit that they come with the specific intention of connecting with Tebbs through abundant love and peaceful healing thoughts.
Tebbs went into surgery at 2:30 Tuesday, July 15, 2008. Following the surgery, she was admitted to Neurosurgery CCU for 24 hours with minimal visitors – family only. During this time, Tebbs requested her peeps send loving, healing, peaceful thoughts her way.
This morning, an on-phone interview with Julie, Tebbs’ sister, revealed that Tebbs is doing famously well. Tebbs had a fitful night with very little rest. However, after having the packing removed from her nose this morning around 6:00 am, much of the pressure had been released from her head. She was able to sit up to eat and take a little walk. At the time of the interview, she was sleeping in a much-welcomed, drug-induced state.
Later today, Tebbs is scheduled for another MRI to verify that all of Skwanky T was removed. She will also be moving to her own room. Until that time, there are still no visitors allowed.
As a reminder, a website has been created to receive monetary donations freeskwanky.com Your generous donation to this cause is greatly appreciated. At this website, you are also able to hear and watch downloaded interviews from Skwanky and Tebbs.
Return to this website for continual updates. Other sites where you can find information regarding Ms. Tebbs:
freeskwanky.com
theappreciationcircle.com
myspace.com/marytebbs
facebook.com
Angie K. Millgate reporting for Tebbs News
The medical staff at the University of Utah Hospital have come to recognize just how loved Mary Tebbs is and are on a first name basis with her. During the first couple days of her stay, guests of the well-loved Tebbs were greeted at the information desks with a knowing nod and a pointed finger, “She’s in room 414.”After a day full of visitors, Tebbs was overflowing with love and feeling tired in a beautiful way. As the day progressed, she realized that she was loving all the visitors and basking in the love of friends and family. By nightfall, she became clearer on what she wanted to create.
“I want this to be a healing space,” Tebbs stated. “I love all my peeps and I love receiving all this love.” She went on to request that, when her people visit that they come with the specific intention of connecting with Tebbs through abundant love and peaceful healing thoughts.
Tebbs went into surgery at 2:30 Tuesday, July 15, 2008. Following the surgery, she was admitted to Neurosurgery CCU for 24 hours with minimal visitors – family only. During this time, Tebbs requested her peeps send loving, healing, peaceful thoughts her way.
This morning, an on-phone interview with Julie, Tebbs’ sister, revealed that Tebbs is doing famously well. Tebbs had a fitful night with very little rest. However, after having the packing removed from her nose this morning around 6:00 am, much of the pressure had been released from her head. She was able to sit up to eat and take a little walk. At the time of the interview, she was sleeping in a much-welcomed, drug-induced state.Later today, Tebbs is scheduled for another MRI to verify that all of Skwanky T was removed. She will also be moving to her own room. Until that time, there are still no visitors allowed.
As a reminder, a website has been created to receive monetary donations freeskwanky.com Your generous donation to this cause is greatly appreciated. At this website, you are also able to hear and watch downloaded interviews from Skwanky and Tebbs.
Return to this website for continual updates. Other sites where you can find information regarding Ms. Tebbs:
freeskwanky.com
theappreciationcircle.com
myspace.com/marytebbs
facebook.com
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