When I ventured out on my own back in August, there was a time when I was not blogging very often because I hadn't figured out my life's rhythm. I am finding that, now that I am at work and co-oping at my daughter's school again, I am in that space again where I am wondering where blogging fits in. And my Meditations. And MySpace. And Facebook. And Twitter. And Animoto. And... and... and... (Lord, help me!)
I made a commitment to stay in integrity with this job that I renegotiated. I am certain that my integrity will have full impact on how I experience this job. However... glitch... (as you can evidently see by the fact that I am writing this post in the middle of the afternoon from my desk at the office...)
I love writing my blog posts and my Meditations. I love that I have an opportunity to freelance for a new magazine here in Utah. I love my art, creating it and selling it. And I love paying my bills on time.
I feel like I have begun, once again, to DO too much all at once. I find that I sit at this desk, yearning to create that slideshow that needs to be created. Or finalize the DVD project that needs to get off to Louisiana and is giving me all sorts of nightmares because it has been one flub up after another. I yearn to finish the paperwork to get Above the Clouds published. FINALLY! I want to complete those proposals for Certainty and Fear and Awakenened.
There is a lot on my plate and it seems that time is running too quickly and the rhythm has escaped me. So things start falling away.
Part of the falling away process is that I am in fear. Money fear. It's up. It's big. And it's here. Right in my face. Again. It's nothing new. I see that fear and I begin to do because doing is all I know. It's silly, really. I keep doing. And doing. And doing.
It's the same thing I've always done.
The results, therefore, are the same.
Of course they are. Why wouldn't they be?
Okay... so my time is full. My rhythm is off. And I'm still doing.
At some point, I am going to make a change.
In the meantime, blogging may be sparse, my friends. May be.
Then again, maybe it won't be. It certainly is a nice diversion!