Sunday, February 28, 2010


Apparently people DO read my blog. Hmmmm...

A few days ago, as I normally do, I posted here my "Appreciations" from my Grace in Small Things project. On this particular day, the things for which I was grateful caused confusion and consternation for some people who read this post and for the person to whom this post was read by some concerned soul.

The words that caused confusion were: *Talking with my father about how he feels about my former husband and feeling such overwhelming love and compassion for him even though he doesn't agree with me. No one agrees with me, so I get that part. However, I'm appreciating that he is willing to hold space for love to come through. *Having the same sort of conversation with my mom and having her respond the same way... willingness to hold space for him to transform his life into something possitive. *I'm really appreciating that both of them listen to me and are willing to believe beyond anything humanly believeable that this man CAN become who I see in him and he is.

I'd like to clairify.

I am grateful for my parents. I am grateful for their support of ME. I am appreciating witnessing the transformation of my former husband. I am grateful for how many people love me. In all of that, I'm allowing space for others to have their own experience and I'm not expecting anyone to be in support of him. I now realize that those who love me really love me and want me to be safe and happy and they feel scared by the fact that, for 18 years, I've loved him and have held space for him to transform his life. And I'm still holding space for him to transform.

I see now that my appreciations which stated they were holding space for him to transform and that they believe he can aren't actually founded in truth. They do not feel that way. I misunderstood the conversations. My expression of appreciations based on my misunderstanding of their truths caused further confusion. I apologize, first, for my misunderstanding; second, for expressing appreciation over something I misunderstood; and third, for causing hurt and confusion for my loved ones.

I hope this clears it up for everyone.

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