Thursday, July 09, 2009


I watched Knowing last night and I'm still buzzing from the adventure. The creators of that movie did a damn fine job with building atmospheric tension! I was literally slumped down on the couch, hiding behind a throw cushion for most of the movie. Then, when it went entirely through the completion of the tale - of which I was surprised, because I thought they would end at the more gentler space, without showing all the details - my ears started ringing and my head started throbbing. I sat there wide-eyed and slack-jawed and oh so very curious. I felt moved and changed and excited and scared and blessed all at once.

I totally got the meaning behind the movie. I got the knowing. That happens for me a lot lately and I can tell when it's going to happen by how I react to the previews. I still haven't gone to see My Sister's Keeper for that very reason. Every time I saw the preview, I was sobbing uncontrollably by the end of it. I figured that two hours of that intense emotion is not something for which I am quite ready.

But, I'm totally off topic...

My father had wanted to see a different ending. I'm thinking he wanted to see the "happily and together eternally after" version, judging by his statements. His wife, while she got the ending, seemed to feel that it was relevent and made sense, she still thought the movie wasn't that great overall. She is not a fan of creepy movies and had no idea what she was getting herself into when she picked it up. She likes Nicholas Cage so, for her, it was a sure bet that seemingly turned sour.

I felt reverent after the movie ended and as though I had just witnessed some science fiction lover's version of what I learned while growing up in the Church. When they started delving into what the children were Knowing, I could not believe how well it followed what the Church teaches about the Last Days. I said as much to the room and my father agreed.

His wife was sitting to my right on the opposite end of the couch. I felt her energy bristle as she raised her hand to interject. She does that when my father won't stop talking and she wants to say something. I get it, but sometimes I put myself in her shoes and I feel frustrated. I imagine myself raising my hand to speak, as I did when I was in elementary school, and I feel myself wanting to scream. So, I'm not sure if the bristling came from wanting to scream or because she was offended by my statement.

"I'd like to point out that it's not the Church," she said, putting so much stress on the word Church that I turned to look at her, "that teaches that. It's Revelations in the Bible."

I was curious about what she was feeling in that moment. I experienced her as overly defensive of her Church, which is a common experience with her. If ever I question the Church on any level, she either physically leaves the room in an obviously disgusted manner or energetically takes herself elsewhere so she goes blind, deaf and dumb until the controversial conversation has ended. I believe it's because she has a lot of fear when people question the religion she loves as though, by their mere questioning of or disagreeing with the Church, somehow it makes it less true. Or, perhaps, it's because she fears that even hearing someone question the Church weakens her testimony. I have no idea and these are only my versions of her story.

"I understand that it's in the Bible," I said to the room. "I said 'the Church' because I was raised in 'the Church' and that's where I learned about Revelations."

I'm still thinking about the movie and its implications. I found myself wondering if I would hear the call when it came time and I'm wondering if I will trust myself to do whatever is asked of me. I know that there are a lot of people who would say, "It's just a dumb friggin' movie, Angie. And of the science fiction genre to boot!" Yeah. I know it is.

And, somehow, it seemed like so much more than just a movie.

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