Your Wish is Granted!

Your Wish is Granted! For a decade, now, I have opted out of all New Year's Eve "celebrations" and, for six of those years I was in bed even before the ball dropped in New York. I wanted it to be different this year, though, and made a conscious decision to actually do something on New Year's Eve other than welcoming in the momentous occasion with a snore. My friend, Karen, and I had both intended to have a conscious-minded New Year's Eve celebration. Neither of us was driven to celebrate with an over-consumption of sweets or alcohol or any other mind-altering, body-numbing substance. We were clear that we wanted to be surrounded with people and activities that spoke to our hearts and resonated with our vision for going forward into the New Year. Therefore, we were both astonished when we walked into the party we had chosen into and realized it was a far cry from the conscious-minded scene we had pictured. After 23 minutes of shocked stupor, we looked at one another with wide eyes and agreed that the space we had landed in was not a match and exited with a huge, lingering question: how on Earth did we create that?! The experience within that space left me with a shuddery feeling that was difficult to shake and created a night of restless sleep and a startling morning-after hangover. For quite some time on New Year's Day, I sat comatose on the couch, staring at the television but not absorbing one iota of information. Suddenly a commercial came on that broke through my haze: What would happen if you granted your own wish? What a concept! Grant my own wish?! Wow! Within moments, I received a call from Karen. During that call, we discussed the elements that had brought us to the space that was so contrary to what we had wanted to create. For me, I had ignored my "no's" time and again. The "no's" had been so subtle that I had decided they were negotiable. It was a stark lesson that "no" really does mean "no." Or, in other words, if it's not a solid "yes", then it's a "no," no matter how soft it is. I often have to remind myself that I create my life and all the happenings in it, especially when I find myself in spaces that are curiously akin to an alternate universe. I reminded myself of that while I talked with Karen, as well as my belief that the people with whom I cross paths are mirrors for me to glimpse the parts of me that I may be unwilling to see. I wondered aloud about what was being mirrored to me in that gathering. I wondered what was hidden in the dark, misty, unclear areas of me that I am so afraid to see. She was feeling as rotten as I was and almost in unison, we declared, "I want a do-over!" So, on Friday night, we got together again and sat in front of her fireplace to create the kind of New Year's we originally had in mind. We took time to share our memories, stories and experiences that we were ready to release to the universe for healing, to clear space for the new intentions and move forward. We placed items on the fire to be consumed and released. We supported one another, laughed and wept together and created an easeful, powerful transition out of the old and into the new. We took time to share our dreams and visions for going forward. We declared our intentions for 2009, placing lovingly-created notes into the fire to evoke the creation power of the flames. We ranged through the emotions - fear, sadness, anger, happiness, sexual - and we felt them all, giving each one their space. We spoke to matters of the heart, matters of finances, matters of business, and matters of health. We addressed all aspects of ourselves and released them into the fire. One of the last things I sent into the fire to be created for 2009 was a $5 bill. Karen and I were laughing, saying that we wished we had money to burn. I remembered that, for almost six months now, I have been carrying two five-dollar bills in my bra, both of which had come from her. I had kept them there in honor of her first request, "This $5 is for you only. It's not meant for bills. It's meant to be used on something you really want or care about." Nothing had really come to me until that moment. I handed her one of the bills. We both took a moment to write our own intention on our bill. I wrote, "I am so rich! I have money to burn," then I placed it on the dying fire. In a split second, the edges of the paper sparked and we gasped as the words "I am so rich!" glowed prominently as the bill burst into flame and blackened. Those sparkling words were the last to disappear. I stared in wonder, feeling the experience sink in and felt so very blessed and rich in that moment. My New Year's Eve experience lasted over 48 hours and it was perfect from beginning to end. I think I am going to take to granting my own wishes more often! ©Angie K. Millgate 1/4/09