Genetics

It's Saturday and I feel lazy. It's a beautiful day outside and I hear myself berating myself you should be up and at 'em, girl. However, I don't wanna. I want to stay inside and hibernate. I want to stay in my pajamas and watch television while cuddled under a blanket. Thing is, I want to do this with only my daughter in tow. Which is possible for the next few hours as dad and his wife have gone to The Funeral uptown. They are missionaries so they got special tickets which delighted the both of them. They will actually be sitting in the Conference Center with the big wigs. One of the perks of serving the Lord.

For me, though, I didn't have any desire to attend the funeral and have found myself surprised by the reaction of thousands of people who seem to be mourning the passing of their lifelong best friend. It is as if they have had a personal relationship with this man, every single one of them. Am I missing something? Am I missing some really important emotional gene that allows me to connect with the death of a prophet like that? It isn't just because I have left The Church that I do not have these feelings. These feelings of mourning the passing of a 97 year old man who lived a good and full life are just absent.

When I was 8 or so, I got to meet President Kimball. My dance troupe was performing for the General Authorities on the 26th floor of the Church Office Building, which was really an honor. Up close and personal with some of Utah's most famous "celebrities." After the performance, President Kimball approached me and my young dance partner. President Kimball complimented us on our performance and shook our hands. He was gentle and kind and smiled a huge smile that I still remember. I was star-struck and felt so connected to him in that moment. Still, when he died nine years later, I did not wail and moan and feel as though I had lost my best friend as it seems all these people are doing for Hinckley. So I wonder... is there some gene that I am strangely lacking?

Mr. Millionaire stated yesterday, "Angie, you just get it. You understand death as being a GOOD transition to a different place." Could that be it?

I don't know. All I know is I want to cuddle under my blankets and be lazy today. Oh. And maybe I will venture out to the house concert tonight of my friends Mary and Leraine. They are amazing musical genuises whom would be reason enough to come out from under the covers!