Albert Einstein has been quoted as saying, "You cannot solve a problem at the level it was created."
For years, I've heard my mentor, Megan Sillito, speak about Open Space as being the place where there is creativity and room to find resolutions. Whenever I've heard her speaking about Open Space, I have felt comforted and excited. It has seemed like a space where I wanted to be because it was there that I had access to my creative mind, to options that I may not be able to see when I'm focused on a problem. Finding Open Space removes me from the level wherein my "problem" was originally created so there would be hope for something new to happen.
It wasn't until just the other night, when I sat in session with Megan, that I realized I'm actually terrified of Open Space. My life, with all that has gone on over the last few months, has become Open Space personified. There is such a vast openness before me, I've been overwhelmed. Several times I've said, "I look out in front of me and there is... huge... space. There is so much space that I can't even see a path or a decision or hear a direction. There's just... space."
And, because there was so much space with seemingly no paths to choose from, I've basically stood frozen solid in place, absolutely petrified. I had no idea where to turn. I had no idea where I could step. I had no idea what to do next. There was just... vast. Open. Space. Seemingly, since I'm living in Open Space, one would think I would be rejoicing, but it's truly a daunting experience for me to face so much openness.
So, I sat with that in session with Megan and processed what I was experiencing. I embraced the fact that I feel scared in Open Space and then I realized that, on the other side of that Open Space, I can see me. I can see who I'm becoming. I can see my purpose. I can see me living my life's passion. But, my problem is, there is this vast Open Space between me and that place where I'm living who I know I am.
When I shared that with Megan, she asked me, "Who are you, Angie?"
I had just confidently said, "I know who I am," so you would think that her asking me that question would be no problem. But it was. It startled me. I closed my eyes and went within to put into words what I knew to be true. There were only three words that floated to the surface... "I am Love."
She smiled and said, "Hmmmm... while we were processing your fear around Open Space, I felt inspired to tell you that Open Space is Love."
My eyes grew wide as I felt my paradigms shifting inside with such visceral sensations that I had to just witness it. Then the implications of her statement started coming to the surface. "If I'm afraid of Open Space and... Open Space is Love... and... I am Love... Then... I'm afraid of... myself..."
She waited for me to process that and then she asked, "What does Love do with Fear?"
My first impulse was to say, "Love embraces Fear," but then I stopped. I saw the image of a small, frightened child. When a child is frightened enough and you approach that child to embrace him, it can make the fear worse. But if you hold out your arms and welcome the child into the embrace when he is ready, it makes all the difference.
In that moment, I saw myself holding my arms open to myself and realized that, at any moment, I have the power to add love to what I'm doing. Love is the highest vibration and when any situation is infused with love, it raises the energy and creates space for shifting and healing.
Suddenly, I felt calm and present and full of potential. Within 24 hours of this process, I had received inspiration and clear, concise directions for what my next steps needed to be. Suddenly, the once terrifying, vast openness before me had paths lit with love.
And it was good!
© Angie K. Millgate 1/31/10
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