Tonight I set the intention to do only what felt delicious to me. I surprised myself by deciding that delicious felt and looked like hanging out with my father, his wife and their two friends. Generally that would not be my choice but tonight, it was right. We played Crazy Train (a dominoes game that lasted 2 1/2 hours) and Phase 10 (a card game that lasted almost as long!) and laughed a lot. Our "dinner" was a buffet of finger foods and fruit salad. I had a great time, but got tired before the old folks! LOL
As I get ready to turn in for bed, I'd like to do some releasing through writing here. I had thought I would do some rituals tonight - to honor the turning of the year AND the blue moon (so cool that the blue moon landed on New Years Eve!!!) but when it came right down to it, I didn't have it in me to DO anything other than what I did. I did step out on the porch just after midnight to observe and honor the blue moon only to discover she was covered with misty clouds and was sporting a very large, visible, bright ring.
Ring around the moon. Trouble's brewing.
The statement was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Immediately, I declared, "I believe the year to come will be trouble free!"
So in honor of the close of 2009, I am...
- Releasing the stories I have about how difficult this year has been.
- Forgiving the three women (ACG, AC, ST) for whom I've felt huge amounts of anger the last three months because I discovered they had, indeed, been lying to me and creating situations wherein I questioned and doubted myself.
- Releasing my stories about having no money, being unemployed and therefore picked on.
- Releasing any remaining ties to MTN in case there are any, although I believe they've been gone for most of this year.
- Releasing my debt and restructuring my finances.
- Feeling grateful for learning how it feels to trust myself.
- Releasing any remaining anger toward CEG and choosing to focus on love, forgiveness and hope.
- Remembering what it feels like when the Phoenix Rises and committing to doing it easefully from now on.
- Remembering that, this year, I learned I can come to and go from this planet almost at the drop of a hat and I'm choosing to stay.
For 2010, I am creating...
- Strength in myself.
- The ability to express myself in that moment, especially when something feels muddled to me.
- Ease and flow with money.
- More laughter.
- Confidence as I go forward with the knowledge I gained about myself, my calling and my gifts.
- Expansion with JenGie.
- Strength in my commitment to BEING FULLY ALIVE.
- Open space as I continue to do whatever it takes to clear anything in my path that is blocking me from being fully alive.
I'm realizing that I'm really tired and this process is not flowing as easefully as I hoped. Mostly because I'm dozing off as I try to type. So I'm going to leave it as it is and come back to it. Possibly tomorrow.
May the New Beginnings in the year ahead be easeful, fulfilling and full of passion. I look forward to all 2010 holds for me.