"People Pleasing" has been of vital importance to me. I have choreographed my life around this and it has looked like "Gotta Do it Right" and "What Are the Rules so I CAN Do it Right?" and "Be My Friend." All of these have fallen under the lovely umbrella labeled simply, "Not Enough." The label is simple, indeed, but living UP (or down?) to that label is intense.
As I have sessioned with Jen and Nat and Megan, I've uncovered so much about what I have insisted DOING. I had no idea how roped into obligation I have been until Nat ran a script on me that seemed to last hours, all with "have to do" starting the sentence. I tell you what... I checked off ALL but two items she spoke and felt exhausted. It was an eye opening experience to know that I HAVE TO DO so you will like me and you will like me and even YOU will like me. I HAVE TO DO so that I am doing it right for everyone else.
Last night, Megan asked me to look at my Victim and then my Villain. As I stared at the Villain, my body clenched and twisted, turned and roiled. If possible, my body turned around backwards while my head stared straight ahead, taking in the vision of the Villain. I said, "It's so scary. I'm so scared of it." Then I realized it... "I am so scary. I am so scared of ME!"
Aspects of me that I am discovering are my Gifts have been areas where I've judged myself the most harshly, turned off and from which I have ran. I have ran from myself. Beautiful voice. Loving nature. Tender heart. Chamelon. Impressionable. Wiggly. Clairvoyance. Clairaudience. Clairsentience. Clairgustus. Clairessence. Touchy feely. Loving deeply, unconditionally, unendingly. As I begin to embrace these aspects of Me, I feel myself gathering into one place and growing big. I feel the longing to please you lessening. The grip of the need to be right and have you be my friend is loosening. I am sliding free.
Then I logged into the Prosperity Game and found this quote which seemed SO fitting for where I am this morning:
You cannot be all things to all people to keep them in the place of connection because it's not about you. Their connection is about them. Finally, with enough trial and error, you come away from it saying, "Oh, it's not my job to please them. It's their job to please them. It's my job to please me." It's your job to find vibrational harmony with you and You. Sometimes people hear us say these words, and they worry. They say, "Abraham, you teach selfishness." And we say, indeed we do, because if you're not selfish enough to connect to Source Energy, you don't have anything to give anybody anyway. They say, "But, we worry, if you teach people to just please themselves, then will not they be out there doing all kinds of abhorrent things that will negatively affect the rest of us?" And we say, any abhorrent things that they do, only affect them and others that are a vibrational match to them. They cannot assert themselves into your experience. Everything is about attraction. -Abraham-Hicks
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I love you without end.