Creative PlayI have been encouraged by several mentors to practice creativity for creativity's sake and to do it the first thing, every day. One of my mentors, Megan Sillito, added, "If you want to live your life from your genius, from your creativity, you have to put it first." I hear her words. I hear the words of my other mentors. I see the effects and I still find myself in resistance.
Because I live in my father's house, I am able to create all kinds of stories that stop my creativity... When I paint or create art, I want to be able to do that without worrying about making a mess or cleaning up after myself before I'm done... It's not my house so I need to be respectful... My creativity sparks at night when they are asleep and I don't want to be rude and wake them up... There isn't enough room to dance... I can't turn the music up as loud as I want to on the kind of music I want to listen to...
On and on go the stories. I get really creative about creating blocks for myself and all that happens is I don't do anything at all and I feel dissatisfied.
This morning in the shower, I chose to close the drain prior to getting in which creates the effect of standing in a pool, while showering. I do this every now and then because it feels soothing to my feet and I like the feel of the sloshing water. Sometimes the water doesn't get very deep because I'm conscious of wasting water and being on time. Other days, on special and rare occasions, I linger longer in hotter, deeper water. Today was one of those days.
The water tickled my ankles as I read through some affirmations that I have posted on the wall. Something in there sparked an emotion and a memory of being a child and playing in rain puddles. Suddenly, I found myself humming and lightly stomping. As the hot water pounded down on my head and my feet marched to the rhythm of my inner child, I felt overflowing joy bursting from me and discovered tears running down my face.
I stomped harder and began giggling, reveling in the sound of the splashing water and the feel of it bouncing off my body. I noticed the sound it made when it slapped against the vinyl shower curtain, the walls, my body. Realizing that I was cocooned in a vinyl cave, I stomped even harder, splashing myself in the face. I sang louder. I stomped harder. I laughed great, big belly laughs.
It was a quick ritual and, as I let the water drain from the tub, I felt grateful, happy and satisfied. I realized that I had created a short, spontaneous burst of creativity for creativity's sake. I felt youthful and whole and ready for the day in a way that I haven't felt in a long time.
I discovered that my propensity to be creative about blocking my creativity has become a game for me. Suddenly, I'm playing in places and in ways that I would have never dreamed of and I am following the impulses as they arrive. I discovered that, for me, creativity for creativity's sake looks nothing like I thought it would or should and I cannot schedule it in. It arrives I'm least expecting it and it shows up in the most surprising of ways.
In what ways have you been surprised by your creativity lately?
©Angie K. Millgate 3/12/09