Feedback

I have been learning about receiving and incorporating feedback more gracefully. Since it is something I am learning, the word "gracefully" is still in the works. I am happy to say that I have been fairly successful at it during the last 48 hours.

One such experience played out via email with someone I would consider to be a friend and whose feedback I trust. It was regarding the subscription list for my Meditation of the Week. While this person is blunt, I can count on honesty. Which I appreciate. It read like this...

Actually, what you are describing is not stuff that I want in my email. That is one of the specific purposes the forum is set up for and I would really rather not have that information emailed to me. It feels like you are in other people's lane about whether or not they will use the forum. My story is that you are wanting to email people directly because you really want to connect with people and you feel scared that they won't connect with you through the forum; so you are putting this more in their face to try to be seen... in other words, it feels like a control move on your part.

Also, my toss to you is to make really sure that the people you subscribe to your newsletters are people who have specifically opted/chosen in to them. From a personal standpoint, I feel irritated that I've been signed up for things just because you have my email address, not because I asked to be signed up for them. From a business standpoint, you will have a more "active" (and therefore productive/lucrative) database without turning off potential supporters by signing them up for something that they didn't ask for. Automatically signing people up, even though they can unsubscribe if they want to, tends to turn people off. A smaller database of "active" people is worth more to a business than a large database of "inactive" people. Those are my stories. Do your marketing and get the word out there for sure, but make sure people request your newsletters before being signed up.

My intention here is to be transparent about my thoughts and feelings. I feel scared about you being upset, but there it is.

Our interchange really provided an opportunity to look at myself, as scary as it was. I found truth in these words, in that I am scared that people will not choose to connect with me, even though I want to connect with them. I am discovering that people do eventually find me, are drawn to me and connect with me through my writing. I want it to go faster, though. I want to make it happen faster. Which is impossible, I know. Still, I want it.

I was really scared about weeding out my subscription list. I really had to adopt a detached observer mode to release the apparently inactive accounts. When I was done, I had eliminated almost half of my list. I feel scared about that and, at the same time, I feel peaceful. It makes sense to me to have a productive list. It makes sense for it to contain only the people that really are interested. Yes. It makes sense.

And, still, it was really nice to open the program and see all these names on my list, albeit a false list at that.

Inside me there is this feeling that I am here to do something important. I am gifted with the talent of writing and, more importantly, am passionate about it. It is how I want to make my living, build my life, live my life. And while I am convinced that I am amazing, I am also aware that most writers hit the big time on a wing, a prayer and a huge sweep of being in the right place at the right time.

So I continue on (common theme coming on here...) and go foward, scared out of my mind, yet again. I go forward with significantly and obviously and truthfully a much smaller list of followers. And, I have my chin up knowing that I am doing what I am meant to do with what I have at my disposal right now in this moment.

And I am surprised. Now, instead of feeling sad as I assumed I would after such a weeding session, I feel light. I feel liberated, actually. Hmmm...