Indisposition

...or in other words... sickness.

I read this morning in the blog of one of my mentors, Megan Sillito, the following statement: Take a moment to notice how the universe is giving you exactly what you said you wanted even if it isn't taking the form you thought it should.

In the moment I read that, I felt a myriad of emotions colliding in me all at once. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Anger. Anger. Anger.

Yeah. There is anger again. Sheesh. Can't seem to get away from her, can I? Even as much as I want to and even as much as I have spent my life being successful (?) at escaping anger, I cannot do it any more.

(I am continually surprised how my blog posts tend to take on their own legs and take me in directions that I had no idea I would be traveling at the moment I began writing. Perhaps that is why I use this to process myself.)

Honestly, I feel angry that I am sick again. And I feel angry when I think that this could be the Universe showing me what I am missing...

As I have written before, I made no resolutions this year. Instead, I have three things that I am going forward with into 2008. One Question. One Statement. One Reminder.

Question: Self, what is my divine purpose or my design today?

Statement: I live my life fully and experience all aspects of my Self, taking one hundred percent responsibility for who I am, what I do and how I communicate.

Reminder: Life becomes lively when I participate instead of watch.

With that being said (again), I am stumped as to how this being sick is working for me in support of any of that. I don't see how it is part of my purpose. I don't see how it is helping me participate in life. I can see how it may be an example of being not responsible. Perhaps I am slacking in that area.

I just. don't. know.

I feel angry.

And, really, come on, Angie! Who wants to read this drivel? This is so not the direction I thought I was heading.

Yep. I feel angry.


... and then... a miracle happens...

Just as I am getting ready to post, this song comes on...



Okay. I get it now.