Ringa My Bell-ell-ell

At my brother's house, in his kitchen, beside the sliding glass door sits a "Service Please" bell.

They have trained Ferris to "ding" this bell when he needs to go out to powder his nose. Ferris is brilliant with his bell-ringing and rarely cries wolf, unless of course it is in the middle of a party and he is being ignored by all the visitors. He is surprisingly dainty about the whole proceedure, as if he is a fragile ballerina, pointing his toe to give the bell the tiniest of taps.

This dog can hold his bladder for hours on end. Since he is a wuss in the cold - a total sissy boy, shivering and whining as though he is being neglected (and that is according to his loving father and mother, not me) - and it is only 19 degrees outside, he gets to stay in the house while the adults go to work. He doesn't get free range roaming rights, however. He gets to hang out in the master suite bathroom. He likes it. He has a heat vent all to himself in there.

He can hang out there for the entire day without becoming incontinent. He can come out of there, run around the house and play for awhile without realizing he hasn't peed for ten hours. And, when he does realize that fact, he meanders toward the bell without any panic and dings it once. No worry.

However, if one is gaming at 11:30 at night on a site where one pays (yes, I know. Gambling. Tsk-tsk) to game, then there is no holding of the bladder for this little guy. Right in the middle of the high point of my game last night, I hear...

Ding!

I couldn't leave the game. I would lose my money. Shit. He holds it all day long. One minute isn't going to cause problems. Thirty seconds later...

Ding!

Damn it! Twenty seconds later...

Ding!

Crap! "I am almost done, Ferris! Give me a minute!" I called out, as though he understands human or that he gives a damn about the fact that I have a life outside of answering his bell. Ten seconds later...

Ding! Ding!

Ooh! Getting serious now. Two dings. Immediately thereafter...

Ding! Ding! Ding! I could hear him thinking, "Good lord! Can't this broad hear me? I gotta pee! And I did that stupid bell thingie. She's supposed to come running."

Yeah. I lost that game.