“Tips Appreciated,” boasted the handwritten sign. It hung slightly askew upon the window of the drive-thru of a local bagel shop with an excessive amount of tape, which appeared to have been applied by a two year old.
It took almost five minutes for the one car in front of me to receive their provisions. So, by the time I was up, I was already a bit unsettled. Then I saw the sign. I pondered the message as I waited, patiently, another four minutes for my one bagel and bottled juice. I was curious about the implications that their service actually would warrant a tip. I pondered whether I would tip the young lady who sounded so forlorn when she came over the speaker to take my order. To this point, with her despondent attitude and the long wait, I figured the tip amount was rapidly dwindling.
I also pondered how I would actually give the tip to her. Even though I usually tip well in restaurants, I am in the habit of dropping it on the table and dashing out the door. How does one give a tip face to face? I had thoughts of dashing men in classic movies sliding elegantly folded bills of assumingly large denominations into the hands of bellhops and hostesses. I heard them saying out of the corner of their mouths, “Keep the change, swee-hawt’.”
I tried it on. And laughed.
The sliding window creaked open and I was faced with one of the unhappiest souls I have seen in a long time. Granted it was a beautiful Saturday morning and she probably wanted to be out in the sun with her friends. I get that. Still, I only wanted a bagel and the merest hint of a smile on the side.
“That will be $3.75,” she sighed out as though it took all remaining vestiges of her energy. I was momentarily sad for the three cars behind me. How would she ever help them if helping me had drained her?
In a split second, I chose to donate a fiver to the cause. I handed it to her and said, “You can keep the change.” The results of my decision were hilarious and sad all at the same time.
Her eyes grew wide and she glanced down at the bill in her hand. Most people lack the ability to do “change back” in their heads. With computerized cash registers bleeping out the amount and the swirly-side-shoot for the coins, there is no need to figure it out. Therefore, I am certain that she didn’t know she had just received a $1.25 tip, so the wide eyes had to be because receiving a tip was a fairly foreign concept to her.
Thus ensued a comical few moments as she danced around, going this way and that, as though she had just come off the Whirly-Twirly and her equilibrium was all kerfuffled. She had absolutely no idea what to do next. A tip? What do I do now? Eventually, after three opposing revolutions in the small drive-thru box, she grabbed my bag and juice, crammed it out the window and slid her window shut in my face.
I was momentarily stunned. What? No “thank you”? I was aware that I had not given the “tip” in the hopes that she would be immensely grateful and fall down at my feet, nor did I really expect any display of gratitude. I was simply shocked when none appeared.
I was aware, suddenly, of what I am expecting from the people around me. I am expecting them to do as I have been taught. Perhaps not all people have been taught the same manners and niceties. However, I am still expecting them to display some semblance of proper comportment – or what I judge to be “proper comportment.”
I also resonated with her disconcerted behavior when she received the tip. Due to the fact that the sign was probably placed there eons ago by someone else, she probably was oblivious to the request for tips. There was a definite disconnect and ambiguity about the moment. And I realized that the anonymous “Tips Appreciated” sign was similar to some of the ways I choose to ask for help – unclear, unclaimed and forgotten.
Often times, I will send out a request to the Universe regarding what I am looking to generate for myself and then, when it actually shows up, I am discombobulated and even sometimes unwilling to receive. What’s this??? I actually got what I asked for? I trip over myself and look around, waiting for someone to swipe the carpet out from under my feet.
I got clear today that it is important to be aware of my wants and needs and then to state them with clarity and ownership. When they show up – because they always do, when I am clear – then gratitude is fundamental in the receiving. A simple, unqualified “thank you” is all the Universe – or anyone – is looking for.
So, thank you, Bagel Girl. I appreciate the tip you gave me!
©Angie K. Millgate 4/14/07
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